If you object to swearing or vote labour , greens,or the Māori party please read no further – I have no wish to offend .😎

Or read on – you might just change your mind and not vote next November for the three headed monster which spouts slogans ( like global warming is the present generations nuclear free moment ). Drivel ( like we owe it to the future to learn te reo) and economic disaster ( like it’s ok to take government borrowing from 18% of NZ GDP in 6 years to 46 % mortgaging the future of the next generation )!.

The TA is short for “ tour of Aotearoa “ a 30 day bike race from cape Reinga to Bluff a 3000 km journey through beautiful and lonely Bee Zealand . . The French call it a Breve – which is a classy way of talking about bike packing – solo biking between two points carrying only your own underpants .

A group of us biked together from Bluff to cape Reinga in the far north during Covid and I always though it would be good to go the real way – north to South but mostly off road on shingle and trails to avoid getting monsteted by the f….kn H registered truck and trailer units and also the occasional feral idiot that sees a lonely biker as far game to frighten the shit out of . Actually talking to someone recently they saw an article written by an English Breve nutcase and his son riding around the world – they rated Nz as the most dangerous and threatening drivers in the world – kind of sad really – must look it up 😎.

So last March with Maree driving the Jayco RV with the boys on board we completed the Cape Reinga to Wellington off road TA – great memories mostly of people most good a few bad to one or two shockers !

Now it’s the SI Nelson to Bluff aiming for gravel and trails again – leaving 2 nd March to complete by Easter – it’s a wavy route this time down the east coast then inland through the McKenzie wilderness and trails to central Otago to Roxburgh then east again to south of Dunedin round the wild and isolated Catlins and sneaking left of Invercargill to the weather blasted oyster capital of Nz- Bluff .

Along the way will be random thoughts – it’s a seriously f…ked up world we are in – as if the now 4 year war started by the most evil ex KGB person alive – Putin – Russia’s dictator who has spent 4 years bombing and killing thousands Ukrainian people – the next most crazed dictator – Donald J Trump – president of USA – until he runs out of brain cells or is impeached by his own people just stated another alongside Israel against Iran.

I have a huge admiration for the Ukrainian people and their leader Volodymr Velenski who could have taken up the offer of USA to fly him out when Russia invaded 4 years ago but said “ don’t sent you plane to pick me up send me ammunition “ I listen to a daily podcast called “ Ukraine the latest “ headed by a couple of ex military guys now reporters who understand, from the UK newspaper the Telegraph – it’s a detailed daily update of the military, domestic, and diplomatic happenings – with reporters in Ukraine at the front and enduring the daily bombing and desperate living conditions particularly over the last six months as Russia has bombed-out the power stations and there is no heat or energy in what has been the harshest winter in memory – most of the time -20degress . It’s a Brave nation and people . At the commencement of each podcast Velenskis voice comes on in a thick Eastern European accent – “ Bravery ,takes you through the most unbelievable hardships and rewards you with victory “ – then there is Trumps words leading up to his election last year “ I will end that war in one day – 24 hours – after I am elected president “ .

Well he hasn’t and in his disgraceful contemptuous treatment of Ukraine and embrace of Putin has prolonged it – USA and Europe could stop the war quickly by blockading the oil tankers leaving Russia and then bankruptcy of Russia would follow . Trumps view of Velenski and Ukraine is bad and has to do with their refusal to provide evidence against Bidens son to help the republicans in the election campaign run up to the USA elections plus Bidens full blown support and weapons supply to Ukraine over the first three years plus possibly an underlying envy of a leader supported by his people leading them through the harshest most appalling time – we now have the world dominated by dictators- Putin, Trump, and Xi Jinping. But guess what – they die – eventually and the sooner the better.

It’s amazing that the Ukraine war is now onto its fourth year – longer than Russia was in WW2 and longer than most European cities were occupied by the Nazis. One statistic shocked me recently- a claim by the head of Ukraine defence forces that their “ goal was to kill, disable, or capture 50,000 Russian troops a month – Russia can only recruit 30,000 a month mostly from mercenries coming from outside Russia and prisons in Russia – so they can’t replace as fast as they are getting killed . How long can Putin go on- as a dictator who doesn’t give a damn – until he gets taken out I guess . But – the loss of so many lives in both sides is a tragedy – so many mothers ,Wives ,girlfriends will live a life of sadness and regret !

So strap yourself in , or leave now if you don’t like my drift …….,.

Day one – Nelson to Tophouse

But first – Sunday 1st March in Nelson was sunny and gorgeous – we went to the annual Italian community celebration with the boys – everything fun and joyful about Il Italia – the Joi de Vive ❤️

We are meeting with the Nelson BB crew 14 mates with RVs and Caravans travelling over the next week down to Christchurch – to campup at Lincoln high school grounds with 250 other RVs and go to the Selwyn Sounds gig on Saturday . First night Tophouse the old (like 1850-1880) coaching stopover on the horse drawn route from Christchurch to Nelson.Lovely Anna does the organising and we just follow .

And to the opposite as I was biking towards Omarama I was hanging out for coffee and saw in the distance a coffee shop – it was off the main road and clearly there to serve the bikers on the alps to ocean trail – hugely popular and longest cycle trail in NZ . Well I couldn’t believe it – out in the back country with wifi and sign saying open 24 hours ! How does that work ? Turns out an enterprising farmer – probably the woman there – taking the power off the huge irrigation rig behind – had set up a selfserve coffee machine plus refrigerated cabinets full of ice cream , drinks and snacks all accessed via “ tap card “ – bloody brilliant !

What was planned to be an easy day turned up some surprises – Nelson out on the trail from Tahuna to Wakefield brilliant as usual and lunch at the villa cafe in Wakefield- outstanding huge potato rosti and salad – just one of those treasures along the way and chance meeting with the cafe owner with the reddest dress and lips I have ever seen 👄💄.

Then up route 88 valley – which I have been on sooo many times with the SMBR bikers to go left up the road over golden downs up that beautiful country road all the way to Tophouse – not ! After climbing into a strong SW headwind I meet

Far out – total road closure for 30 kms – no way forward and by this time I have committed to ride through it . I usually can talk my way through – but – the two big girls the approached me in Fluor gear weren’t having any of it – even my pleading about how I can walk past the machines and no one would know . Bloody hell – back the way I came – fuming 😡 and a 90 kms ride round the long way looks like 150 kms ride – how can NZTA close a road without even one way access for months due to a forestry wind throw event months ago ( yes don’t get me started on forestry but I will return to that later) – yes mate – only on NZ – and that’s decisions made by bureaucrats sitting in Wellington !

And as I am wondering why I looked up our closest neighbour – where most NZ was believed to be there are more feral human beings than here – well – turns out they brought in the requirement for motorists to give one and a half meters clearance in Victoria in 2016 and every state has now followed and enforced it !

So day one starts badly – take the trails to kohatu and get picked up to avoid biking in the dark !

Never mind – was great to get together with all the guys at tophouse and see Princess Maree and the boys at Kohatu.

And here is a cartoon picture of the RV crew taken some days later together in Christchurch ready to party 🥳

Day 2 Tophouse to Hamner Springs across the Rainbow gravel.

This day was always going to be the toughest of the trip . Sooo good to have Deb and Gavin meet me at the start of the famous Rainbow road and Deb ride across the passes Hanmer with me . It was as cold as with a stiff SW headwind and some rain with snow going over the highest road pass in NZ – Deb and Gavin have risen it before and the aSt James trail which runs off it – the Rainbow rage was a mountain bike race that ran fir years – sadly no longer – like the Le race from Christchurch to Akaroa – canned by the H&S bureaucrats and liability on the organisers .

But even Deb who is a hard out “ go getter mountain girl “ at times wondered why we were there – so cold our hands and feet froze even though she had 6 layers on . I couldn’t feel my hands to change gear – but we reached the final pass – Jacks pass – with relief and though it’s in real bad shape after weather events we hunnnnd down to finish in 6 hours bike time . Only then did I wonder what would have happened if we had a mechanical or worse an off – with no one there and no cell phone coverage – good to finish and warm up . Bloody good on you Deb – would have been a long and lonely day without you ❤️

Day 3 Hanmer to Torlesse vineyard at Waipara

From Hanmer to coffee with Maree boys and Terry at Huranui pub after quiet back roads through Balmoral Forrest much of it now converted by owners Ngai Tāhu into huge irrigated dairy – great example of Maori Iwi investing and making a huge wealth fund for their people out of the Treaty Settlements.

Turn right – head to Hawarden and Waikari – superb biking through gorgeous green productive farmland all producing food rather than wood which we can’t eat !

Now love stories – which you would only know by biking slowly through NZ

Plus a km of memorials to the young men of the area killed in action each with a beautiful acorn tree above .

A love story by the people of horses and the young men lost 😞

The other love story of the day is on the hillside to the right driving north from Waipara .

So there is a field ahead as I ride through Balmoral Forrest shaped as a heart – coincidence- no it was a farmers who shaped and developed it as tribute to his life time friend and partner . ❤️

I was told about it by a very old friend as we drove north to the TeManui Angus bull sale on the coast just before Kaikoura in the late 90’s . That is an event and cockies come from all over NZ for a day of yak yak , huge steaks cooked on a massive outdoor BbQ and whisky – plus sometime during the day some bulls get sold . My friend was a 50 year employee of Wrghtsons on stock and seeds – so knew every farmer in the South Island by name and would recite them off as we drove north – the sharpest mind at 80 o have ever known and fun to be with especially when drunk which was frequent – he was John Patterson who loved opposite us in Christchurch and we were great mates . Problem for him was he had all his retirement invested in wright son shares which keep halving each year for 10 years and basically robbed him of his comfortable retirement – a lesson for everyone to try to diversify to avoid single investment hardship 😞

So a hot hot but quiet day riding and great to get to Torlesse winery to meet up the Nelson RVs and do the wine tasting cheese boards and Terrys big BBQ!

Meanwhile war number two – Iran v USA /Israel v all the gulf states is picking up big time with the first salvos taking out the Iran ruler and heads of the armed forces and much of their airforce and navy – problem is that Iran are the best drone and missile makers in the world and Trump forgot about that so shit is happening .

Mind you – my opinion – the evil bastards that have ruled Iran since the 1979 revolution deserved all they get – religious fruitcakes, revolutionary guard monsters, and nuclear nutheads . Nothing has changed for the better since I went to Iran for 3 years in a row on the 1980’s to sell them our overproduction of skinny undersized lamb production. They were a couple of years into the revolution but cracking down on their people and at war with Iraq – so we had to run to the basement each night when the bombers came from Baghdad. We stayed at the ambassador and trade commissioners residence as there were no hotel and were paid in oil as they had no money – crazy times . A final anecdote – the first visit as we were driven past the USA embassy where everyone was held hostage for a year in 1980 there were still trestles outside the gate where women dressed top to toe in black pieces together / and cellotaped shredded documents that the embassy had not been able to burn before their capture – if a document had your name as an Iranian on it it was certain death for collaborating with the Americans.

Day four – waipara to Christchurch and the Selwyn Sounds gig at Lincoln

So after a brief ride on state highway 1 to cross the bridge at Waipara it was onto the Hurunui trail and gravel big time – via Amberley,Balcairn,Rangiora and the bike trails into Christchurch . Nice ride but the gravel trail ran out on a creek bed so was a ford crossing and riverbed hopping for a bit.

In Amberley I stopped to talk with the owner of a florist shop that now trades from the butchery shop my old grandfathers uncle built pre 1900 – my grandfather worked as a butcher boy there from 12 years old – he lived 1900 to 1990 and spent his entire life in Amberley and Rangiora where in retirement he tended a huge vege garden and was an avid member of a secret society that rode goats – the lodge Rangiora .

The big act of the day was Ronnan Keiting – lead singer for late 90’s boy band Boyzone . Irish,great voice and sound,kissed the balmy stone, and stopped for dancing which the girls drooled over .

My choice was a surprise – Tony Hadley lead singer for Spandau ballet – English, wow voice, unusual almost jazz/ blues sound – and superb backing guitar .

After the day we got back to the campsite stuffed and off to bed – but not before Tony did an outstanding rendition of Ronans song and dance- “you say it best when you say nothing at all “ – and asked how he can get away with it with the girls on awe – but if we said it we would be in deep shit ! Haha thanks mate 👍

What a great day and sooo good to be with people who really like each other ❤️

Day – wedding ❤️

It’s wedding day and going to be a gorgeous 24 – Maree’s lovely niece Janine s daughter Claudia – 24 and terrific . I will post a couple of pics later .

Meanwhile the princess is on the beauty trail and I am home with the boys – actually rebooking at the next biking day – Christchurch to Ashburton. And I am worried 😟

It’s because there is no way over the Rakaia river 20 kms before Ashburton but riding the longest river bridge in NZ on state highway 1 . It’s narrow and fast – with monster trucks testing the speed limit !

Plus I ran into my cousin Brian at merivale mall yesterday – he said he won’t ride the roads anymore – but take this – he still rides the double black MB trails wherever he can and is heading to Corvara in the Dolomites again which he has done several to test his courage in August

His words – roads are dangerous – too many idiots – I would rather kill myself than give that over to a trucker or bad driver. Yep – so many hard out roadies are now not biking – it’s got way worse in the last few years.

Well – then I saw a difficult to read article from earlier this month on two English cyclists a father and son cycling the world for charity – who – get this rate NZ as the most dangerous place to bike of the 24 countries they have been in – so can I have a wee rave – just swipe on if you get bored – ok 👍

Last year after getting seriously threatened by H ( the huge yellow truck and trailer units on rural roads ) I wrote to the Herald – and – got letter of the week!

Then I took a look at Australia – most in NZ kind of think there are more ferals in Aussie than in Nz – well Victoria brought in the meter and a half passing rule for cyclists in 2016 ten years ago and every other state has followed – you know that Aussie authorities love rules and they police this like hell .

But not NZ – it’s a deeply imbedded feral reaction by a small number of drivers and truckers that won’t change – maybe it will after my lifetime – I am hoping – especially as everyone now accepts that aggressive behaviour whether it is at home, school or on the street after the nightclubs close – which I all know about – not haha – is unacceptable . Everyday I feel threatened on the road – but do your know what – unlike all my mates who are giving cycling on the road away – I say “ f…. k the feral bastards “. I’m still biking .

But guess what – I am not going to bike the Rakaia bridge – which bought on this little rave !

Weddings – really – who does weddings these days . Ummmm kids in love do ❤️❤️❤️

Oh . Been busy . So update coming .

Just a great wedding – simple , lots of young people being happy enjoying themselves dancing like mad – and yes strange word – respectful to all those there .

Lovely Claudia the bride

Thursday wedding , Friday after match function at parent Janine and Paul ,Saturday to sumner for session at the beach bar with Fabian’s and Whites – far out – I need a blood transfusion😎.

So it’s Sunday and time to leave for the Deep South – but No- maree left her phone at the bar last night – we freedom camped at Ferrymead kitchens overnight and walked over to casual and country for coffee- and then – oh shit – lost the keys to the Jayco . Talk about panic – camper locked , no spare keys . Maree feeling sick , boys barking – ummmm 🤨

Found in the grass so here we go – whew

So – away we go – but before – let me rant on something that came my way . I am following Ukraine – and their life and death struggle with Putin and unfortunately with Trump . They have been supplied with air defence ( USA patriot anti missile rockets ) to try to stop the daily ballistic missile attacks on civilians – unbelievable really. Since trump came there is no more free armaments – EU or the other support countries pay USA – it’s called a Trump deal – I win you lose. But trump has never allowed enough patriots – and so Russia gets through , people die and most of ukraines power and heat stations are destroyed .

Now we know why – in reserve for Israel and Iran – it’s been revealed that more anti missile air defense rockets from USA were fired in the first 4 days of the new Iran v USA/Israel war than Ukraine has been allowed in the 4 years since Putin invaded . Plus – get this – Ukraine is now the world leader in use of drones for defense – and – are supplying USA bases and countries in the Gulf with hardware and technical know how – bet that pisses Trump off big time👍 – love it !

Hard to believe -here’s chat gpt- never wrong

And from the New York Timed

Day 5 Christchurch to Methven via Rakaia gorge .

Long day biking 115kms . Out of Christchurch from Redcliffs on terrific bike trails and bike lanes – Christchurch has huge numbers of these everywhere so I just followed them south – right through the city and hagley park area to the uni and out through Hornby toRolleston . I decided to solve the problem of having to ride the Rakaia bridge on state highway 1 by not – taking the long way through Colgate, wind whistle, Rakaia gorge to Methven. Wise choice and great riding – no gravel but lovely day on the Canterbury plains.

As I rode along I kept seeing road names like I knew them – weird – until I realised this area was where we trained 30 years ago each Saturday morning – a big bunch leaving 8.30 am from princess Margaret car park – 100 kms at 30 kms per hour – quick coffee and home by midday . And – lead by an ace biker – who knew all the roads and which to take with which wind break hedges would give us the best ride in NE SW, or bloody easterly wind – he was always right . Would be on the front of the bunch at the start of the Graperide each year to be still with the fast fast bunch at Picton – strong rider . Yes Craig Churchill 👍👍👍. I remembered all this when I got the the famous Charing cross ( not the London station between Fleet st and the Thames) – it’s between the state highways west and south and a confluence of 5 roads – always our turn back point to get 100 kms done !

Was super glad to arrive at Methven and see Maree n boys and go straight to “ The Blue “ for beer and chips – sooo good .

One day 60 years ago a trio of naive young guys looked up the Rakaia river from the gorge bridge and decided to walk to the West Coast via the Whitcomb pass – one said “ you’re dreaming mate “ – that was me before my time . The others being Byron Whedale ( my future best man ) and Don McBeth knew better . We got a ride up the road from state highway 79 going west till we hit single – and got dumped out to walk – we had all we needed – like a macpac mountain mule pack with genuine leather straps and a mug and few sandwiches . Gradually the kms passed and the landscape changed to matagouri – huge thorny bushes of useless shit ! It got hot, we got thirsty – no water – um river way down below – day 1 a disappointment as we had only got past the first sheep station . Day 2 the shingle road was endless – got past the second sheep station but no water . Third day we realised we should have got a ride up the shingle road for the first 75 kms – the book “ river rules my life “ kept coming up . So – when some hunters drive by heading for the main road we jumped on board – was a very practical example of “ piss poor preparation equals piss poor performance “

Day 6 Methven to Geraldine

Short day on flat Canterbury plans mostly on country back roads through the irrigation towers spouting precious water from the foothills ( Lismore and Rakaia schemes) and mountains – and everywhere green green grass and crops – and of course white gold – diary cows . All this used to be dry sheep farming drought always on the horizon but irrigation firstly using gravity with the plains falling from the foothills to the sea and then in the 2000s electricity – which took big investment by Orion in grid upgrades when I was chairman way back 25 years ago !

So I had to bike a short section of the Thomson track – a back way from Christchurch to the McKenzie country – and an invitation always to break the speed limit . After getting monstered by a couple of Rooneys transport truck and trailers I got off to a back road – but a memory clip brought back the owner of that Company – one Gary Rooney . He would definitely be a huge Trump supporter – huge ego , always looking for the win from the deal, happy to use bargaining power for personal gain – unaware of the unintended consequences – -and a thoroughly unlikeable guy . Plus and this is where it gets interesting – very borderline personal demands and possibly responsible in a small way for the recent decline in NZs rating as the least corrupt nation in the world – haha – yep things I know 😊

So I am biking along thinking of unintended consequences

So Trump decides to go to war with Iran big time – boasts that USA / Israel have taken out their navy , airforce and military leaders – but oh shit – what’s the “ straits of Hormuz” – yep that’s where Iran has stopped all shipping – a 25 mile stretch of water through which 20% of the worlds oil is shipped . That is an unintended consequence that the Trump Administration didn’t think about – so what now ? Trump is throwing his toys out of the cot big time as NATO and EU country leaders say “ it’s not our war “ – “you started it without asking what we thought and now you want us to do another adventure like Iraq,Afghanistan “…… where you recently made deplorable remarks about our military positioning behind the front lines to avoid contact – tell that to the UK and Europe widows !

Yep Trump has to live with his own decisions and the consequences- Bohoo – I am loving the show called” Watch Trump squirm “.

So arrived a route 79 camping ground to a beer and back to Princess Maree and the boys ❤️

As I came into Geraldine I was thinking of another event of 60 years ago – I told Maree about it but don’t think she could picture the scene or how embassing it really was .

I had meet a lovely young 17 year old – oh yes my age too – who lived in Geraldine . I decided to drive down from Christchurch to visit her – in my 1937 Hillman Minx – a mistake . It was a great example of useless UK made junk and ultimate decline and disappearance of the UK auto industry . Crossing the bridge into Geraldine there was a huge ❗️ BANG – and clouds-of smoke – big end gone ! Bus home to Christchurch .

And the end of a possible wonderful romance ❤️

I’ve been slack – but preoccupied so some catching up to do – if you still there – fine !

We are at Omarama – “ Central “ as South islanders say knowing that they don’t have to explain they are in the Otago . It’s Sunday morning – 5 degrees , sunny, and clear cool air . It mists as you breathe out and the willows are yellow so autumn is almost gone as we head south .

On a couple of days we will be at Alexandra and close to Bannockburn – where Sam Neil’s Pinot noir vineyard “ two paddocks “ is located . So today I started to listen for the second time to Sam reading on audio books (free at Spotify ) his autobiography “ Did I ever tell you this ? “. I don’t usually do things twice so this is an exception- I like the guy – well I like most people still alive born in 1947 – but he seems to me a singular self contained man with views from a life of the extraordinary . P

Plus having been born in county Arman, Ireland and raised there by a military officer father and classy English mother to the age of Severn he has kissed the Blamy stone – tells a great story and with a voice so natural, so smooth and with that element of “ I don’t give a stuff if you like what I say “ that you can listen for hours and he drifts you away .

I even can forgive him for attending Christ college in Christchurch – I never meet one of them that wasn’t up themselves- it’s breed into them at that apology for an “ English public school “. And -I guess it was his parents who sent him there – he professed to hate it – although I have doubts as I have never been able to trust the word of the “ blackballs” from that place.

So to “back pedal “for a bit. I last wrote about Geraldine – and a failed teenage romance ❤️‍🔥

Day 7 Geraldine to Pleasant Point

An easy day biking on shingle road with almost zero traffic through the irrigated cropping and dairying South Canterbury plains . Sunny as – and beautiful even if a bit repetitive.

Also some serous off road -crossing fords – type shingle today on the ride.

Something happened after Geraldine – something about the difference in NZ attitudes as you head south – now this is true believe me . I call it the South salute !

The local drivers whether it be farmers, tradies, or mums taking kids to school raise an index finger to you from the steering wheel ,and smile 😊- it’s a “ gidday mate – good on you “ salute .

And so different from the middle finger palm up salute with a glare which says “ f…k you’re on my road that I paid for” in the rest of NZ – has anyone else noticed this – I’m sure by the time I get to Southland it will be a full on “ 👋 wave” salute .

Day 8 Pleasant point to Lake Tekapo

It was a 100 kms day with climbing over gravel with a pass into the McKenzie country about 20 kms south of Burmese Pass ( the state highway from Geraldine to Tekapo) so a hard but great day out – the trail was the best of the trip so far – no traffic , no people and following an old bullock track through the mountains. Green and fertile until the pass then McKenzie country vast and barren – how can the geography change so much in 5 kms ! A

At one point I got lost and ended at a pub in Albury ( it’s all that’s there ) . A lovely lady made me a coffee though she wasn’t open for business – and explained she had come down from Auckland 6 months ago to buythe pub and make a go of it – good luck 🤞.hope it works for her – aren’t nz licensing laws a complete mess – this is the only pub for miles and it really needs her big time – but she can’t own and manage it until she gets a “ managers license “. It’s not about common sense or even that she’s “ fit and proper person” – no – she needs to prove that she has served behind the bar for 6 months ! A law to discourage those wanting to give it a go – dreamed up by idiots probably from Wellington !

Was gooood to arrive in Tekapo to darling Maree and the boys and camp at the lake side

You meet people sometimes on the trail – today it was a grey haired super fit guy from Arizona on the Sounds to Sounds route – he was struggling on the steep climbs and I could see him zig zagging up – now that’s desperate ! But he was on his own and carrying all his possessions to survive on the bike – plus no battery – nice guy to chat to and I kept running into him for a couple of days . 😊

Of course the vast McKenzie basin was named after James McKenzie who immigrated from Scotland in 1830 and worked as a shepherd . In the 1850s he did the right thing – took up a life stealing sheep and transporting them via the mountains across the uninhabited interior to Otago for sale. He was notorious but the police couldn’t find him for years – partly cos his super intelligent dog a border collie who he trained never to bark – was his constant companion and only friend plus knew the wild country as well . He was arrested and locked up but became a folk hero – his dog never left the McKenzie basin waiting in vain for his return .

Someone once said to me after I was very disappointed that someone I had hired and mentored left smiths city suddenly -“ if you want loyalty get a dog “ – it’s true !

Here’s the statue of the famous dog on Tekapo

Day 9 Tekapo to Ohau

A great day riding the canals from lake Tekapo to lake Pukaki and from lake Ohau to Lake Ruataniwha and the massive Waitaki hydro scheme of lakes and dams all the way to the east coast .

As I biked along the canals I am certain I was going uphill – my wahoo bike computer said .1% gradient – but – how does water run uphill . Turns out that the amazing hydro engineers of the 1960-1970’s had it all worked out – to maintain just enough storage and pressure means regulating both the inflow and the use of water along the canals to generate – like at Tekapo A and Tekapo B small power stations that are at the bottom of a steep drop – don’t you like the simplicity of the 70’s – no politician or 40 letter Maori names – just plain A and B. It’s like using a plastic hose to drain from a tank across level ground – easy !

Just south of Twizel is Lake Ruataniwha- a man made lake used to regulate water flow – from the damming of the ahiriri river . It was early in the 1970’s and the massive project under the control of the government department in Wellington – the ministry of works . The whole Waitaki scheme of dams and lakes and power stations was under the control of a wise bugger – chief engineer by the name of John William Smith who worked for The MOD 1940 to 1980 when he was pushed into early retirement. The reason – he disobeyed the Wellington wonks – who would not listen to his reasoning that Lake Ruataniwha could be developed both as a hydro reserve and at a small price allow public access for a national rowing centre . They said No – he just did it anyway – and tomorrow 2500 teenagers will compete there from all over NZ in the national secondary schools championships just as they have done for 40 years – these are the crème de La crème – elite super fit boys and girls – all dedicated to winning for their teams and schools – an amazing experience for each – and they have trained 4 or 5 days a week for months to just get selected to be there . We have some of them in the top 10 camping ground here at Omarama – strong dedicated polite and respectful kids who know what hard training and taking pain over 2000 meters – like 6 minutes – racing. So – to John Smith take a bow – you should have been knighted . When – well how about in 1978 when the world rowing champs were held successfully at Ruataniwha- instead you were sacked 😎. So I am thinking about all this as I bike the trails on a gorgeous sunny day around the A2O single trail foreshore track to Ohaulodge to plug in at Willem’s bach that he and Tracey have had for 30 years on a hill overlooking the lake straight up the the main divide and Mt Cook 12349 ft high in the distance .

Day 10 Lake Ōhau to Omarama

We had dinner with Willem and Tracey at the ohau lodge – talk about step back 50 years – little has changed including the super friendly hospitality and – simple as – food .

We skied our butts off in the early 70’ when Roger Howell, Tony Ryan ( Helene’s younger brother ) and I would hire a9 seater van to drive down with others from CFM Christchurch where we all worked on Friday night – ski like mad Saturday and Sunday stopping only for a huge night in the bar and dinner – then drive back Sunday night stuffed .

In the 80’s we took the kids for ski weeks in August which was absolutely ideal timing in the season during school holidays – that was stuffed up by the Wellington wonks at the department of education moving to a four term year – so July school holidays was too early (very cold for kids and often before good snow ) and October was too late ( snows gone )! They said it was because the kids got exhausted by three terms – but we all knew that was bullshit ! It was the teachers way of getting 4 not 3 school holiday periods of two weeks- I’m cynical right !

One year when Lena was tiny let’s say 1976- we went with a group to Wanaka skiing – she must have been 3/4 years old as we were still driving the white VW 1302s car we brought back to NZ from uk – the snow was shit at Cardrona and there had been a huge dump at Ohau – up early to drive through to Ohau and ski like mad- but I managed to get totalled on a snow drift and buried – I got out but no way to find my skis – it was Father’s Day so the first weekend of September ! I walked down to the hut and we heard Lena say in a tiny voice “ I know where Bo has hidden his weed “ . Bo was a friend we were skiing with Robert Smith and his girlfriend Jan. so we high tailed it back to the Wanaka lodge Lena showed us the stash – and by the time Bo and Jan got back it was history ! Haha – the innocence of a child 🧒. A last thought – Mike and Louise who ran the ohau lodge and ski field when we were there in the 70’s are still there now ! They must be 90 years old as they looked so much older when we were in our 20’s

Guess what – for some reason we when camping next summer down at Wanaka – I drove up the ohau ski field and walked up to where I reckon my skis were lost on the snow – yep there they were waiting !

Day 11 . Omarama to Okurehau ( near st Bathins)

You know there are some things in life you do “ only once “ – and – you remind yourself every now and then that you promised – well today was one of these .

Very difficult day crossing the mountains via the Omarama saddle at 1250 meters via the Oteake Conservation Park and over the west Manuherikia track. Hers the map- eeeeeek

Actually it was a steep boulder strewn 4 wheel drive track almost untestable on places and on the downhill side monotonous Criss crossing of the river ( they said 29 fords but it felt like 100 and at the bottom up to your knees so I rideable ) and gates galore!

Am k painting a picture that you reckon – one day I am going to have a go at that – well f….kn good luck . It’s the kind of thing that Gavinand Deb would do – just cos it’s there .

The other thing is that other than Ben from Brighton uk who I ride with on” broken Hutt road leading to the climb and a adventure motorbike with his kid at top Hutt I saw nobody – so – any whoops – like off the bike and broken derailed or arm and your on your own with a NW rr at the top over 50 kms and cold as – mmmmm- so no rescue or comms 😎

It would be a great motorbike day with a machine built for shit tracks – maybe Gavin and Bruce have already done it !

While I am thinking about Ben from Brighton – I bought up to him and slowed right down – on the flat ! He was new to biking and on the sounds to sounds bike route of my hero the Kenneth bros ( who wore routes for all the best rides in NZ ) from ships cove Malbourgh sound through to Milford Sound . But Ben wasn’t confident – and – said twice that he was worried about the day ahead – he would have had to walk so much if it ( hope he made top hut before dark ) – and I wouldn’t be surprised if he did toss the whole idea in that day . But if he’s still going then – bloody good on him 😊

The scenery was outstanding central Otago bleak ! Dry and barren with blue blue sky and wilderness everywhere. A 5 hour bike and a swim in a ford that was too deep – so wet and glad to finish and see Darling Maree and the boys .

Yep – only once 😎

Meanwhile back in the jungle – while I am thinking how great it is to live way from the rest of the world “ on the last bus stop “ – Trumps Iran war goes from bad to worse and the Russia war crimes against Ukraine continue into a fourth year ☺️

The news is full of Iran , oil or shortage of it with a Iran having closed the straits of Hormuz so there’s no shortage of drama . But Ukraine bravely fights on – Russia threatens a “ spring Offensive “ but doesn’t seem to get started despite latest reports that its soldiers are forced into the front line with special forces at their rear will to shoot them if they turn back . The losses of Russian men each day vary between 1000 and 1500 with a record number three days ago of 1570 – mostly taken out by Ukrainian drones – the numbers of lives being lost is a tragedy unlike the Somme in WW1 – and it’s stoppable tomorrow if Putin just said – enough . I think I said a few days ago that Ukraine simply to take out ( kill , wound, or capture ) 50,000 Russians a month – as Russia can only recruit 30,000 – it’s madness . And Ukraine are producing enough drones and drone pilots for their own needs and now supply their excess to the Middle East allies of USA to combat the drones of Iran – how good is that !

Peace talks continued yesterday- guess where – Miami – far out what a farce lead by Trumps son in law and real estate friend while Europe watches on uninvited – far out – the worlds nuts 🌰

Day 12 Oturehau to Alexandra

An easy day on the rail trail – except anxious moments when meeting amateur cyclists in guided groups coming towards me – you can see that look of panic or terror ,even though there’s plenty of room – so best to get off the track and wave – relief for everyone 😊

Otago Rail trail from Middlemarch to Alexandra has transformed the towns along the way – and the farms look green and making money ! nice 👍

Day 13 Alexandra to Roxburgh on the Roxburgh trail with jet boat water taxi midway as the track ends at a farm that hates bike – nah – not sure why it’s hasn’t been able to come to an arrangement to allow the spectacular trail to cross the Clutha River at some point and get to Roxburgh .

I had heard years ago that the famous Christchurch entrepreneur bar and nightclub owner, and renowned dodgy business man – guy called Henderson – that regularly went bankrupt just when the tax department was closing in – was the station owner stopping the trail extension .

Anyway the jet boat driver was Simone from Munich and she talked all about the gold rush of the 1850s and the stone huts along the gorge where somehow the miners stayed and survived the brutal winters – most only lasted a couple of years and a few made their fortune panning gold .

So talking gold – Lena just sent me a clip which I will try to include about a guy called Quentin – husband of Louise ( Lena’s bridesmaid of 25 years ago ) . He’s the operations manager of Mcraes mine and been working there starting as a junior metallurgist 28 years ago – by the way he’s one of the nicest guys I have ever meet – Mcrae’s is a huge hole in the ground north west of Dunedin that still produces heaps of gold after 30 years – a major industrial operation that would be loved by Shane Jones minister of resources and hated by the Greens ! Anyway the clip is about Quentin going to NYC after Easter to “ ring the bell “ at the New York stock exchange on the first day of listing for Oceana gold the company that owns Mcrae’s mine .

Day 14 Roxburgh to Lawrence. On the Clutha gold trail .

Very few riders on this trail -which follows the left bank of the mighty Clutha river – few towns and no coffee shops – grrrrr! The main state highway follows the right bank down and the towns with names taken from Scotland by the early settlers are there- like Ettrick, Beaumont, millers flat . In 2024 when we rode in UK from lands end in Cornwall in the far south to John O’Groats the northern point is Scotland it was weird riding through these towns with the Otago names .

Anyway I had a lovely long talk with the lady that owns this – must have been a long hard struggle getting past the consenting , farm owners plus the “ weed growers” who didn’t want anyone in there disturbing their cultivation- bloody good on them for persevering – it produces from “ run of the river – Teviot river” diversion without holding lakes about 1.5Mw enough for 1000 households .

day 15 Lawrence to Kaka point (Catlins ) 74 kms 800 m 3 hrs20 via Balclutha .

This I do find truly amazing that I can make a great coffee in the Jayco off grid freedom camping – the stuff of dreams 👍

So today was beautiful weather riding backroads first into Balclutha then onto Lawrence having turned right just in time to exit the gold trail which goes left to Milton onto hilly shingle over Mt Stuart to Balclutha . At Balclutha we meet up with Howie Gardiner an old friend from being a director on CRT and farmlands together – he farms a large highly productive 9000 stick unit farm near Owaka – but now plays golf ‘

And – he was always an entrepreneur- intensely follows politics . He called himself a “ politics tragic “ and before long I realised I am too 😊.

In Howie’s case he’s gone one further and joined every right wing organisation organisation I have heard of including the Nats ,ACT, farm fence , and what’s that one that Don Brash heads-up – nut cases . Well we agreed on everything almost , that the three headed monster – labour, greens MP had done wrong , stuffed up, or made bad decisions on . So it was great to see him and we agreed to exchange our list of the 10 most stupid and regrettable things that bunch had done in their 6 years to being turfed out in 2024 . More later !

One thing that has been in the rise in NZ has been Mike Hoskings ratings now far ahead of state radio – radio New Zealand moaning report – ok I agree with most of his commentary- some is ego and dumb – but he often backtracks and has the good grace to say sorry – more that can be said for Hipkins and his mistakes as minister for covid response a couple of years ago. Anyway he was interviewing Shane Jones – minister of everything the greens hate ! – I reckon he needs to adopt that title . So he was referring to the decisions taken 2018 to shut off gas and oil exploration and drilling and production in NZ – has used the phrase “ sins of the past have a long shadow “ talking about the Megan woods / Jacinda Ardern decision on oil and gas inn2018 and then referred to Jacinda as “ that fugitive from electoral justice “ – ie she buggerred off to the well paying speech circuit and visiting appointee to a liberal lefty university in the USA , then decided to live in Sydney leaving chippy to face the music. Actually it’s time Shane got over it and left that hackneyed phrase behind .

Also heard on my daily pod “ Ukraine the Latest from the UK telegraph that Russian military casualties approach 1.5m and there was and new BBC research on available public sources like death notices puts military deaths at 250,000 – and says it is much higher – but the big surprise was that half these were prisoners released from Russian gaols, and a quarter were mercenaries – it’s still a very sad number of needless people gone – I hope they will all dance on Putins grave.

So back to the biking – out in the hills and mist and wild wind I heard a strange noise – couldn’t place it – and being alone reached for my tin hat to ward off capture by aliens – then the mist parted to reveal wind turbines “ woosh woosh” – scary as !

So we reached Kaka point on the Catlins coast – the weather which has been a friend right through the month since early March has stayed to turn – it’s the Deep South and weather off fovaux straight ‘

Day 16 Kaka point to Waikawa Bay

A long day of hills , coast and wind for almost 90 kms but good to reach Waikawa – it’s a tiny settlement on the south east Catlins coast and freedom camping provided by the local community for free . There are no commercial camping grounds down here in the wilderness- it really is isolated .

Arrived to start of rain so shut everything up – Maree’s night for cooking so it’s bangers and mash – yum yum with my favourite Anotoths tomato relish – but – the plastic jars all look the same . So I spread by mistake apricot jam all over my sausages – now that makes for a memorable last supper – as tomorrow it’s the push for Bluff 😊😊

Day 17 . Last day Waikawa Bay to Bluff 98 kms

But it rained hard all night and was going to be a big day as the forecast was to worsen with gale force SW in the afternoon and driving rain . So nothing for it but rug up – right 😎

The countryside is green – so much so- you can hear the grass growing as the rain drives across rolling Southland hills . There are few towns or even cafes but found one before the wind really wound up to a gale.

But then

So finally made it to Bluff the goal since leaving Nelson 2 March and it now 30 March – 17 days biking for 1400 kms mostly on trails and shingle roads across the most beautiful country in the world .

Bluff – honestly how do they live here – it’s so dismal especially today in the freezing rain . Invercargill and Dunedin have like half the sunshine hours that Nelson gets – but they’re tough as down south . Plus the oysters make it worthwhile .

Couldn’t have done it without the support of Darling Maree ❤️

The end of Tour of Aotearoa Gravel 😎

Read on if you are a politics junkie or political tragic

LEST WE FORGET!

For Howie – my 10 reasons why the last Labour Government was bad for New Zealand and their decisions will linger long into the future in holding back New Zealand progress

They were fundamentally a group who came to power by accident – unprepared , naive, ideologically driven by socialist thinking particularly that – they knew best and decisions should be centralised on Wellington ,control frecks directed by unions and the far left and fundamentally opposed to business although occasionally admitting that they didn’t create jobs and prosperity – business did . Pre politics almost none of the ministers worked on the private sector – real jobs . Ex union officials Government servants, and straight from university to politicians in the main – if they had to submit CVs to get a job in the private sector they wouldn’t make the shortlist for interview – and – all had the trait that they wouldn’t admit that they “ didn’t know what they didn’t know”

Here’s the main people who ruled NZ for 6 years 2018-2024 – watch out – a number are still there in parliament in opposition hoping to get their jobs back in November this year

Jacinda Ardern – PM

Grant Robertson – Finance and Sport

Chris Hipkins ( chippy) – Education, Special minister for Covid, Police, State services ( responsible for the efficiency of the state sector – and oversaw the growth in number of civil servants by 30% in 6 years from 49730 to 69573), Youth.

Andrew little – Health . Ex meat workers union offical where they called him “ Angry Andrew- absolutely hopeless socialist now mayor of Wellington )

Megan Woods – Energy and Resources

Damien O’Connor- Agriculture ( and the only member of the government ever to own and run a business)

Environment – David Parker

Maori Development and Broadcasting – Willy Jackson.

Foreign affairs – nanaia Mahuta ( who hated flying !)

But first – big numbers are so big that it’s hard to get your head around it .

1 Billion B = a thousand Million ( so the total sales of Mainfreight is $1.5B, Mercury Energy $1.5B, Fisher and Paycal Healthcare $1.5B , Ryman $1.5B Silver Fern farms N Z s largest meat company $3B )

1 Trillion T = 1000 Billion – So Nrw Zealand GDP the total of all goods and services produced is $400B or $.4T( Fonterras total sales are $22B or 5% of our total GDP ) .

The point of this – if you are still there – is the notion of Grant Robertson s label as “ economic vandals “ – during the the 6 years of their rule he oversaw Government gross debt doubled from $80 B to $175B or from a respectable 28% of GDP to 42% ! Unbelievable – and National has struggled to rein it in – it’s now 46%. About half the increase went on the $60B Covid Response and recovery fund – and fair enough at the beginning in 2021 subsidies on wages during the “ shutdown “ kept everything going . But from 2022 on it was like households borrowing big time to pay for groceries – reckless and dumb – and assisted by that big ego guy Adrian Orr governor of the reserve bank they stimulated the economy into huge overheating and rising prices -inflation! By comparison with other countries the increase in government debt as a percentage of gdp nz was the highest over 2020 – 2024 at over 20% compared to Australia 5% Uk 5% Germany 7% and Canada -7% – we were the crazy one !

But then they wanted desperately to be reelected – right 😎

So here’s the 10 bad , dumb , stupid. And crazy things they did

1. Trees- Subsidised carbon farming of pine trees over Agriculture via the ETS- last year even the government appointed advisor on the environment ( called the Commissionet for the environment) Simon Upton published a 2 year study saying that forestry should be removed from the ETS
2. Fossil fuels- Gas and oil search and investment banned plus allowed the closer of marsden point oil refinery – now we import everything . Due to Trumps Iran war yesterday diesel was over $3.50 a liter

3, Wages and Holidays- Government mandated “Wages blowout” causing most of the following inflation – Labour minister and union offical Michael Wood plus Jacinda Ardern drove lots of gifts paid for by business .- examples are – minimum wage increased by 33% over 6 years and they naively thought it wouldn’t just hit inflation as a result of everyone on wages getting increases the same to maintain differeantials ( actually if they really wanted to help the low paid they would have moved the tax rate they pay of 21% on every $ earned from zero to $20,000- but they wouldn’t cos labour just loves to tax and spend ) ., 10 days sick pay from 5 days even if you only work one day a week lead to huge absenteeism as sickies increased cos labour ruled out doctors certificates , the horror of annual holiday pay calculation which was dictated by the unions and caused huge back pays for business and state servants, additional public holiday ( Matariki ) – far out – why and who pays ???? And finally Pay Equity – don’t get me started on this sham .

4. Health – abolishing of 29 hospital boards and centralising all decisions to ministers in Wellington plus creation of the seperate Maori health authority- actually I was told that Andrew Little minister of health was advised to reduce the number to 9 or at most 4 local health areas controlled by the community – he said “ I know best we will have one – Wellington ) – outcome – huge spending in the wrong things and decline in health services to NZers.

5.Education- as directed by the PSA all assessment of teachers and pupils performance was canned . Teachers were encouraged to make up their own syllabus, focus on a holistic, well-being , non stress education where kids made the choices- maths, writing, reading de-emphasised – result – decline of ability in core subjects, except Te Reo and less that half kids regularly attending school – a disaster for that generation.

6.Crime – soft on crime, sentences and serious repeat offenders particularly gangs – result – big increase in serious crime, gang crime and drugs , ram raids ( who would forget these ) everywhere on retailers , Police demoralised.

7. Water and Maori – the government ( actually the Maori caucus within labour) , Waitangi tribunal and judges decided to reinterpret the treaty of Waitangi to give more weight to the Maori version than the English translation – leading to calls for Maori cogovernance in many areas – actually it was a clever ploy to get elite Maori into nice paid roles. So along comes 3 waters – wow – they decide to requisition all water infrastructure for drinking , storm, and sewerage treatment off the owners being councils and communities – into a few entities ( like Wellington and Nelson together) being traditional Maori grouping s and have Maori cogovernance over it all – unbelievable- but they went ahead without mandate and got stopped by the election – huge costs incurred .

8.Debt ., spending , inflation – they though money grows in trees and never needs to be repaid – the interest cost on government borrowing is now greater that police, education and health .

9. Investment for growth and jobs – they are fundamentally anti business and job creation- the barriers to capital investment through – environmental consenting , Maori / iwi approval , capital / bank focus on home mortgages, make it almost impossible – at a recent conference to attract overseas money to invest the word from attendees was “ it’s not New Zealand but No Zealand “ it’s too small and too hard to do anything here . – No capital equals no growth and young bright kids heading offshore.

10 Low Productivity – why have we the lowest growth in productivity in the developed world ? This is where no inflationary wage growth comes from but it’s non existent in NZ . Most countries through tax and business incentive love companies to pour capital back into innovation to get more out of every hour we work – we work longer hours for lower pay than most – right ? So where the investment- it’s all too hard and risks too high – that’s why the banks love lending to houses and credit cards . So it’s left to private equity capital or heaven forbid overseas investment – but where the tax system – no where – they abolished depreciation on industrial buildings, abolished interest deductibility on rentals , and don’t provide rapid write off of R&D or software like Australia where the government aggressively uses tax to get business moving – plus the increase in government servants drove people from productive to non productive jobs – brilliant eh ?

Now one day Howie we will wake up to a new Dawn ! – f….k I just saw a pink pig fly past🐷🐷🐷

End

Ps

Wonder when she goes to ponsonby road for a coffee on public holidays and they’re all closed – does she say – I did this 😊😊😊😊😊

youtube.com/watch

If you object to swearing or support labour and the greens – please don’t read on any further – you might be offended 😎

Day one 105kms 7 hours 500 m

TA is the short form for tour of Aotearoa a 30 day race or cycle breve ( that’s a classy French fancy word for bike backpacking between two points – good for crossword and wordle) , from the top of New Zealand at cape Reinga to the bottom at Bluff . It’s 3000 kms on the road some hard out biking . When we did it in reverse as a group from bluff during Covid I mo always thought it might be possible to do it off tar seal mostly – gravel or shingle roads and bike trails to avoid the f…kn trucks that frighten the hell out of roadies.

I knew it would be harder and a lot slower riding gravel plus lots more hills – but – my lovely e-bikes will help .

So this log might work or not – only because I ride , maree and the boys drive the mobile home and we meet up at the end of each day .

Its a month to get from cape Reinga to Wellington – that’s the plan 😊.

Day one -cape Reinga to Ahipara down 90 Mike beach .

It’s the one day on the plan I had most concern about – it’s a long way and difficult ( and if it goes wrong there is no way off the beach – no road – no rescue ) , especially if it’s blowing southerly – guess bloody what – it was ! strong SW 25-35 kms per hour gusting 45 – but at least not raining .

We were camped at Ahipara in the far north and it needed to be a super early start to get on the beach at three hours before low tide – that’s why we started 22nd Feb for an 10 am low tide which meant being at the cape by 7am . Turns out the first wave of the real hardout TAs were also starting that day – 100 of them . We were a bit late as the 100 kms drive north included an essential coffee cart stop so started riding about 9 am – bit risky as if I was super slow I would get tangled with the incoming tide – anyway ride for16 kms down the road turn left at te paki stream road and hit the beach . Nah – no one told me there was a stream to ride down and push at the end of the dead end road – a surprise and nearly sent me the wrong direction !

Onto the beach and the SW headwind for 6 hours – blew out two 700 watt batteries and had to push without ergs for the last 25 – as my friend Steve said once when riding up to hilltop on the way to Akaroa “- Boycie there are some things you only do once” – yep . A beautiful day spoiled by a bastard wind.

I caught up with the 20 or so TA tailenders that left 2 hours earlier – I had battery then so they drafted behind – but couldn’t hang in at 15 kms per hour the wind floored them . Some started walked complete shot to pieces – and out of 100 fit people 5 pulled out on day 1 – too hard .

I shuffled into camp, the heiniken tasted bad , didn’t feel like food , showered and bed – a day not to remember 😎

Day 2 Ahipara to Rawene 65 kms 700 meters 3 hours

Lovely quiet no traffic Sunday morning ride after coffee n avo toast in Ahipara on the way out . Maree drive into Kaitaia for some groceries then through on google maps to a great little pub at Kohukohu near the Rawene car ferry to take us across the Herikina harbour . There was a local Maori pool clubs playoff happening so lots of funny stuff n singing . Really nice people . At Rawene in the late afternoon Maree got a call from niece Niki to say that Allen her 83 year old brother was in hospital and given only two days – bloody hell – how does that happen and so fast – poor Allen apparently out picking up kids to go to Electric Avenues gig and happy as that as an uber driver he had a big day ahead – then pain and going ! We headed for Whangarei first thing Monday to get maree on a plane to Christchurch but Allen didn’t last one day so she didn’t get to say goodbye – the dreaded 80’s.

Also mayor of New Plymouth and as it turns out the leader of the most effective lobby group in NZ – the NZ trucking Association. They have Transit NZ in the palm of their hand ! Or maybe it happened when they changed their name to from Transit nz to NZTA – the NZ Transport Agency – then later to Waka ….. Kohatu and they all focussed on their Te reo lessons . But – that’s when the truckers won- big time . So NZTA allowed faster , longer , and yes wider truck – they even adopted what could only have been a piece of Harry’s PR blurb and called them HPMV – high performance motor vehicles- with special license to terriorise cyclists and others using the roads .

sSo the boys and I are alone till Friday – Whangarei , Kerikeri , Beatiful matauri bay and back to Kerikeri to pick maree up – then maybe restart the biking .

Anyway back while I have a minute to the ride to Rawene. Here are some pictures

See the beautiful cattle farm.

See the pine plantation on pastoral land.

The three pictures of farmland tell a big ugly story – which I couldn’t get out of my mind as I rode – the utter stupidity of ideologically driven politicians who leave a nasty smell behind them for decades.

In the pictures you see prime sheep and beef farming with beautiful charolis cattle each worth about $2000 living a two year idyllic life and after a ride in the country and a quick painless end – steaks , roasts , corned beef and hamburgers – food for the world unless you happen to be greenie who live on air.

On other side of the road similar prime pastoral land planted in pine trees for carbon credits – something no one heard of until the fifth labour government of Helen Clark who under dumb shits “ministers for the environment” MPs – Mallard and Benson – Pope created the Emissions Trading Scheme or ETS to trade NZUs or carbon units equivalent to a tonne of atmospheric carbon – you gone to sleep yet – well don’t the rest is fascinating just for its sheer stupidity ! NZU s are the nz equivalent of bit coin – except with bit coin the number of coins is fixed and the market sets the price. NZU numbers are decided by government – they can increase or restrict the number to drive up or reduce the price – speculators started to get into them too – but – got burnt and realised that NZUs were a con !

You might remember Mallard – idiot – was speaker of the nz house of parliament and decisionmaker regarding parliament grounds – when Covid protesters invaded the grounds ,instead of listening and getting the police to move them on .he turned on the water sprinklers and blasted them with Barry Manalow bullsit songs and the Macarena which they danced to and played back loud as hell the Kora song – Polly Polly Polly politician – make the right decision………

So emitters ( oil companies, power companies , coal fired boilers in manufacture ( ha – but not schools or hospitals cos that’s govt owned not private enterprise and they exempt themselves from the cost just like they do rates – did you know that – one of the reasons why Wellington council finances are stuffed – so many govt buildings ) started under Helen Clark’s dying government in 2008 to buy NZUs and absorbers like forest owners got credits of NZUs and could convert them to cash . Farming was left out of the ETS but there was pressure from dumb greenies probably didn’t eat at all .

Along comes the fifth national government of John keys and more ideologically driven environment ministers including the worst politician for asking your advice then not discussing anything you said just launching into his own preconceived view – bloody Nick Smith now mayor of Nelson no less.

2015 Paris accord on climate change – signed by most countries , ignored by many, and Trump just pulled USA out of it -world’s largest emitter !

Also the other two massive emitters China And India have not started to reduce Carbon emissions since 2015 cos they are developing nation poor things ! So between these three countries there is about 75% of the carbon being created – NZ is .8% yes less than 1 % and most of that from agriculture producing food . By the way the Paris accord article two says – yes every country needs to reduce carbon output to 2005 levels by 2050 and get half way there by 2030 -but – not at the expense of food production . Where have you ever seen that part in the lefty NZ media . Don’t stop food production – article 2.

Fast forward – here comes Jacinda Ardern and the sixth labour government including the Nz first ,Greens and Maori party – a naive bunch of left wing private enterprise and agriculture hating members of parliament that New Zealand had never seen before and made worse by the second three year term where Covid hysteria abetted by the left leaning media ( who will ever forget Jessica and TiVo ) put labour in without the moderating influence of NZ first . Jacinda declares a slogan ( so full of slogans ) that climate change is this generations “ nuclear free moment “ – what bullshit and arrogance – but it got her the worlds attention – all she really wanted .

So under climate change minister James Shaw but particularly the radical reports of the climate change commission chaired by an exceptionally intelligent .partially blind academic for Canterbury University Dr Rod Carr ,with the longest most disgraceful beard I have ever seen – decided the only way for nz to meet its climate change obligations under to Paris according to 2015 was not to cut back emissions but to step up absorption – not to stop burning a million tonnes of Indonesian filthy coal at Huntley for electricity or to reduce the number of cars we drive , or build hydro power or really encourage solar – shit no – we needed to stop pastoral farming and plant pines – plant baby plant !

So – the NZU price get massaged from $30 to $80 per carbon tone ( the climate change commission wanted it to be $200 !) . All of a sudden farmers get more for their carbon absorbing pine trees than food production – plus the regulations for foreign ownership of forests and forest land created a bubble – and where there’s money there’s crazy- the land price goes to $18000 per hectare for forest verses $12000 for farming – money talks – labour claps – how clever are we .

But soon the devastation to communities of conversion to pines starts to hit – schools close as farm workers leave and tural towns shrink . A classic case -wairarapa – 2500 hectares of flat to rolling beautiful livestock country sold to “ the chocolate princess “ from Switzerland – she needed the carbon credits as offset to her carbon emissions from her chocolate empire on Europe.

So from 2017 ( Jacinda was elected in 2016 ) to 2024 there was 270,000 hectares of pastoral land put into trees some to be harvested in 28 years some in very close planted nonprunned, vermin infested carbon tree stands . By now in 2025 that will be 300,000 and from that 3milion lambs production per year lost ( about 15 %of our total 20 million ) – and it’s still happening the prediction being we as a country will go to 15 million lambs produced for food in the next 5 years – that’s about $1000 million- yep a billion $pa of overseas earnings lost per year – and the trees – zero $ and zero employment . But don’t we look good to the rest of the world .

So – this is on my mind as I bike quietly to beautiful Herekino harbour .

Actuality in 10 years when we look back at what Jacinda and her friends did to nz we will have forgotten the Economy shambles that grant robinson minister of finance left behind ( he has been called the worse finance minister since Rob Muldoon in the 1970’s-and- an economic vandal ) , . Or the rampant crime, and kids leaving school unable to do maths or read , or the mess left behind when health and water was centralised to Wellington decision makers useless bastards. No – the one thing that governments after them can’t repair is the thousands of good farming hectares in Pine trees for ever . Very sad 😔

Days Monday 24 th to Friday 28th

maree was in Christchurch initially hoping to see Allen but when he died on the Monday stayed with Kay, Joan , and Karen plus all the relatives for the funeral on Thursday and the wake at the cashmere country club.

Boys and I travelled the far north – Kerikeri, matauri bay , and Paihia beach – fab places as pics to follow show

Matauri bay camping place

Day 3 – Marees back ! We in Paihia in a lovely camping place amongst olive trees – 4 nights here so settled .

Back on bike – Paihia to Kaikohe on the twin coasts trail – 54 km , 700m , 3 hours – easy day once on the trail at Kawakawa – there is a 17 km trail from opua but I missed it somehow – anyway a lovely pretty flat ride through farmland on what once was a rail track – goes in behind Moerewa beef processing plant owned by Tally’s – immaculate as their plants always are – but deserted on this Saturday – strange as it’s peak season! Ah – yes – it’s those bloody trees creating lower beef cattle. !

Day4 TA Gravel . Second day of twin coasts trail from Kaikohe to Korere on the Hokianga Harbour . rode the white bike which was probably a mistake as it had some steep slippery sections – beautiful hot day .

Day 5 Paihia to Whangaruru beach

66kms 1200m 3hrs 30 – great day on the bike – very isolated area and steep – off road saw no cars or people for a couple of hours – would have been much faster on tar seal – but – sometimes the slow way is better . Life is laidback up here – like cars on beach , talk talk talk at the camp office on how to propergate plants from seeds and fruit – like slice a strawberry in half and put slice part down in the soil and cover – strawberries will appear .

Day 6&7 TA gravel . Well it was two days planned biking which we decided to do in one day – have the extra day at Whangaruru – so I asked for it eh !

But first – it’s the end of the day – sun poring down – we safely in our camp spot at wangarei – and best of all beef time – Heineken can ice cold . But – f….k – I am on number two can – sat back down after a string of jobs like water filling ,Boys spirals, Boys cage .…, and took a swing on my can ! Yuck Shit – nasty taste and gritty – marees used my previous can as an ash tray and I took a swing on it . Oh no – solution – open a third and drink the lot 😊😎😊

Tutukaka to wangarei s short cut

All up a long day 85kms ,1400m climbing , 5 hours biking plus strong head wind but no rain so no way am I complaining.

Lots of steep hills and shingle before hitting the tutukaka coast – then fab beaches – surf and far enough away still to be isolated . Saw no one and no trucks for hours 😊❤️😊.

Lena had said that Aucklanders saw tutukaka like South islanders see Nelson – must go there someday – and they even see it as the abel tasman of their north. Guess what – it shows – you can see the change in the cafe at Tutukaka- well dressed , nice sunnies , fast cars , big boats – must be from Auckland! Sure as hell haven’t seen that sign of wealth in the far north.

Also guess what – no pine trees – yep all day just beautiful rolling dairy and pastoral land once I left behind the scenic reserves that no one goes to cos it’s way off the beaten track .

Nothing toxic here- which brings me to something else . The world watches gasping at the toxic , nassistic ,bastard they now have as president in USA . Just treated the president of Ukraine to super nasty public dressing down in the Oval Office – the guy who has lead his country in 3 years of war against one of the worst dictators known – Putin !

And Donald duck refers to Velenskyy as a dictator and war monger . Donald D is just a despicable mob boss – and – the USA has him in power for 4 years ahead – the worlds a mess – thank god we are the last bus stop and so far away from them.

Had to feel sorry for Mike hosking on news talk ZB this morning – he just can’t get past the school lunch debacle as much as he tries to. It’s such a laugh – if it wasn’t such a crazy mess .

Started of course under Jacinda – as lunches to those kids in real need – I think 20,000 across nz . No one wants kids at school hungry – But then in the spirit of kindness it Expanded under labour to over 300,000 or 50 % of all school pupils cos no kid should be hungry – right – pity about the parents who can’t possibly supply a lunch for their kids . Where the hell are they !

Inherited by National and Seymour with a plan to cut the cost from $7 to $3 by cutting out the sushi and couscous ! Anyway fast forward to now – been a few hiccups in delivery and the parents ,teachers and unions are upset – poor things . Then this week Luxon on Hoskings made a true statement- “ what’s with the parents – and- if the kids don’t like the new lunches then get the parents to provide a marmite sandwich and apple !” That’s what we had plus tomato squashy sandwiches sometimes .

It’s bloody nuts – and yet no one can see the joke .

Anyway – hosking got excited – stuff on line , who only criticise and take the labour/greens/ Maori view on everything carried Luxtons marmite comment – plus an on line survey – 55% agreed about parents taking the iniative and providing a marmite sandwich . Hosting was ecstatic ! Shit we live in trivia eh !

Day 8 TA gravel Wangarei to Marsden point then to Mangawhai. 100kms , 1300m ,4and half hours

Was always going to be a long day – before I took a wrong turning coming out of Whangarei – with hindsight – “ how could I be so f…n stupid “

. That’s why I always take trips with Ralph at global adventure tour – maps and detail his strong point – my weak one . Anyway I kind of headed off north west rather than south west – the the wahoo said take this side track – it was a great gravel track up and up – great because it was a logging road and ended half and hour later at a huge locked gate. Was a great view up there though .

That got me thinking about acknowledging our weaknesses – mine includes detail , planning , and following a map – plus – realising early when things are off track . I remember one of those bullshit management training sessions of the 80’s – we had to talk about our weak points – most there just invented stuff – but I do remember saying I wasn’t great on detail or finishing stuff .

Anyway – oh that’s right – one day maree and I were talking about why she is so much better than me at word games and spelling and detail stuff – she said and this is without a word of a lie “ your not intelligent you are just cunning “ – nice eh .

So it was a bit of a painful retracing of where I had already biked then a crossroad to link up to the proper track – guess what – I should have known – the road was called “tiger peak drive “ a- would you have thought could find another way – steep but lonely cos no one else is stupid 😎

Next problem arriving at wangarei heads after 50kms and 1000 m climbing – time for a latte – I ask casually so where does the ferry to Marsden point across the harbour leave from – answer – there isn’t one you have to go back to wangarei and go round the harbour – oh shit – can’t face it .

Out with Google – find an obscure reference to a casual water taxi run by Blair . Called him and hey presto – arranged to leave in 30 mins from Reitahi bay – 10 taxi minute ride $100 . Well bit of a rip but the alternative was sooooo bad .

After pretty dire ride through The shut oil refinery at Marsden point – shut during Jacinda’s time with clapping from the greens who hate cars . Anyway it actually was a great shame – it was producing a product vital to NZ – Shane Jones’s right about it being strategic not to rely on shipments of fuel out of Singapore – when I mentioned it to Blair thinking he would agree I got an earful about Shane – turns out Blair besides running an expensive water taxi also does fishing and diving charters – he’s seriously pissed that Shane has reduced the catch quota for crayfish and king fish for recreational fisherman and handed it to the commercial guys -plus- taken the surveillance cameras off commercial fishing boats – he reckons there is “ pay back happening “.

Anyway onto the tarmac road down the coast – it’s getting richer and more refined in every way the closer i get to Auckland – the food is more varied like sushi and halomi and the people look like they are nice wine drinkers !

Great to get to campsite by the seashore- all set up by the lovely Maree.

TA gravel – day 9 Mangawhai to Sandspit via Matakana

Seemed a hard ride today – headwind – but think it was stress trying to stay away from killer trucks – more later .

Super nice start to the day in Mangawhai with maree and boys biking on trails to coffee .

Took the white bike but it behaved badly – puncture and jumping chain so dialed up the support truck ( like maree) and swapped over to the levo 29 mountain bike – nice .

Found shingle – called cemetery road which is not a fun name – plus it lead on to what was the scariest road just before Matakana valley road – whangaripo valley road – near wellsford . 5 kms of narrow blacktop with no run off at the side and enormous truck and trailers carrying aggregate from two quarries nearby – crazy guys going at the speed limit with no regard for a bike or anyone else – probably contractors paid by the number of loads for the day . I just couldn’t believe it cos there was no way out no driveways to pull into or verge – survived and got the name of the quarry company “ Rodney Aggregates” – I emailed them but they all probably just hate bikes so I feel pleased to survive.

Strange thing was there were other trucks on the road – like “ Rhodes for roads “ that were safe .

After Matakana it is only a short bike to lovely sandspit beach – I was thinking about a Hosking comment – he just cracks me up – sometimes they are so short so cryptic that you would miss them – so he’s talking about Greg Foran ceo of air nz that he says he likes , who resigned – had enough after 8 years – who can blame him with dumb engines, massive gaps on plane deliveries and COVID shutting NZ down – all of them decisions or consequences made in prior years before he got to AurNz by other idiots . But he left being positive. Hosking couldn’t let him go without a dig . Says AirNz has gone backwards – true ! And isn’t up with the best – true . And lost the undying support on NZers – true .

But then the little side comment – Foran had said the AirNz was up there with airlines we benchmark against – but to Hoskings that’s like “ red rag to a bull “ – why compare with the mediocre- why not compare with the best – Singapore, Emerites ,Qatar….. . Then the crack up which I am sure I am the only one who caught it – it’s like Grant Robertson ( you know last disastrous finance minister under labour) when asked how the NZ economy was – he said ok compared with “ others we reference to “- Hosking said well maybe he thinking of the Democratic republic of Congo or Ethiopia or other disastrous failed states ! Priceless e- but true eh 😊

sandspit – beer and fish n chips at the yatch club after a long hot hilly day – nice😊

TA Gravel day 10 – Sandspit to Orewa ( Auckland ) – 40kms, 620 m , 2 hours

Great riding through rolling countryside and steep bush – hard to believe this close to Auckland there seem to be few secondary roads and gravel – so on the tarmac . I guess it’s just steep as and few people so no need for roads other than no exits . Lovely area around Waiwera where the wonderful Hauraki Gulf comes into view.

It was about Waiwera I saw the first Porsche and from there on seemed like I had struck the Urban Ute capital of NZ – so Ranger, D-max,Navarro, Hilux, amarok, and Rambo ( no just Ram ) – but the deal is none that I have seen have tradies tools on board or bails of hay . They are city People who want to look big and feel Rambo !!!

After the slow quiet north -?Orewa sure has a vibe – lot more immigrant small businesses around – and open sundays ! A few closed up premises due recession but lots out brunching .

While thinking about recession the news of the week was the early resignation of reserve bank governor Adrian Orr – frankly surprised he lasted this long but I guess he has a five year term extended by his “mate in disaster “Grant Robertson . Widely acknowledged that he lead monetary policy through unprecedented times during and after Covid – but can’t be forgiving for major mistakes – way to loose for to long ( not so much the incredibly low interest rate – all developed economies went there) but the inflation boom bust money printing they developed a name for to hide what they were doing – “quantitative easing “. Like borrowing as a country like there was no tomorrow and pumping it in the banks and economy creating huge demand and prices . Everyone remembers the 20% increase in house prices and not being able to buy a car, motorhome,ebike even for cash . Well the effects are now – and – Orr is blamed for being too loose and in the last year to slow to bring the OCR interest rate that banks pay for overnight money down .yes- he wants inflation down to 2% but how fast that’s the issue – plus there are parts of inflation that no amount of high interest rates can’t fix – like power charges, gas charges, rates, international food and commodity prices and of course petrol . Above all no genius can find a way to recover from the 35% increase in the minimum wage that Michael woods and Jacinda pushed through inn2017-2022- it created wage inflation at every level of the economy as relativities were maintained . Labour of course believes that the money grubbing employers could absorb it – so naive – how does a farmer pass in on – overseas customers just say “ get stuffed “ .As Lena says as a small business owner – the only people in employment that benifitted were the kids working at MacDonalds and living at home – they didn’t get their minimum wage increase eaten away by instant inflation or tax . jacinda would have been far wiser to take the 10% tax on incomes below $20,000 to zero – but – of course that can’t be done cos Polly’s like tax cos they like to spend- right!

Anyway stop grizzling Craig – we don’t live in Ukraine being bombed daily by Putin – and – at the same time having our arm wrenched up our back by the deal maker of the century – Trump

Actually there was an American here last week – who makes sense – in NZ for Conference on central banks – Ben Benarke- head of the Fed for 8 years during Bush and Obama – widely applauded for his role in steadying the USA economy during and after the financial crisis 2008 – and getting a Nobel prize for it.

That’s a diplomatic way of saying – Adrian Orr and the reserve bank just got it wrong – and – we pay – or rather mortgage holders and businesses pay . Public servants get paid regardless of bad decisions .

But here in Orewa it’s a beautiful day from the moment the sun got up.

And then Lena and Sophia and their lovely dog Mellor came for a great catch-up

Mellor – well unless you are a long term Liverpool fan the name wont mean anything to you – but – the family ( Lena probably not ) are die hard fans . So – Mellor – was Steven Mellor one of the greats a centre forward and side kick of the famous Stephen Gerrard striker who benefited so often from Mellors work up – there you go – another fact of huge value 😊

So have made it to Taupo – three days of hard biking so I am behind on the blog – and the world is still nut – It’s called Trump chaos !

While in Orewa I managed a haircut – essential as Maree was looking at me differently- and – invented a new word for it – the “ crinkle cut look “ like chips . The curves left by the bike helmet left waves . It wasn’t complementary- kind of like Shakespeares put down “ damned by faint praise” . But not quite as cutting as “ you look like Val Doonican- anyone remember the 1970s Irish singer with the slick down haircut – “ Elusive butterfly “ and other dreadful croons . Anyway when Val Dionicans name is mentioned I need to head a haircut

Maree can get what she wants with so few words – like – let’s compromise and do it my way 😊

TA gravel day 11 Auckland ( pine harbour ) to Marinda ( at the bottom of the fifth of Thames )

Beautiful village at Pine harbour and lovely beach at Maraetai and heading up into the Maraetai mountain bike park I had planned a gravel ride through to Clevedon – um – oh no – dead end after about an hour . So had to take a 3/4 grade track to get out and lead right back to where I started at Maraetai beach – oh well – do something that scares you everyday – right .

From here through by road to Clevedon to meet maree and Lena for lunch at the corner cafe n bar.

From clevedon I had planned a big gravel through the Hunua bush area which is the main water reservoir for Auckland – but – steep and long so after the mistake of the morning chickened out and took the coast rode for the sea views – nice – but not before a few big steep climbs to reach the firth of Thames with views across to Coramandel

TA gravel day 12 Miranda to Matamata

From Marinda it’s into the Mighty Waikato after crossing the famous Kopu bridge – what a miserable little crappy bridge that causes so much anger from Aucklanders travelling on long weekends to their baches and launches on the Coramandel . It’s the place of legend – 2 hour long ques trying to get across and not even a cafe !

Northern Waikato is not the lush green grass and thousands of cows – it’s pretty dry and pinched – I think with bad sandy soil and marshy wet area – and strange canals – streams full of cow shit and not much happening . Shingle roads for a while then I hit the Hauraki rail trail into Te Aroha and though to Matamata – fabulous off road trail I think one of the first that happened as a result of the $20m bike trails projects of the John key government – one of the few things of that 2008-2017 years of National Government of “ do nothing “ that actually remains – they were so bloody conservative that “do nothing and hope “was their catch word . It’s hard to think of anything they actually did except reduce the top tax rate from 39% to 33% but increase GST from 13.5% to 15% and deal badly with the Christchurch earthquake with fatso Brownlee in control – but so much more could have been achieved by being brave – wasted opportunity !

So I don’t just wander around taking photos of meat plants – but – this one is new . Rebuilt about 5 years ago after a massive fire- shouldn’t have been rebuilt actually as there is already to much processing capacity – but then it’s a farmers cooperative and they make decisions for other reasons .

Silver Fern farms second largest nz meat company lost $45m the year before last and will probably make a similar loss in the year to 31st December 2024 – result to be published in a few days . It made disastrous losses about 10 years ago and had to be sold 50% to Chinese owners to survive . The same will happen this year to the largest nz meat company Alliance which lost $127m last year and $97m the year before – massive unsurvivable and unbankable losses. Both farmer coooeratives with farmer representative elected boards .

Anyway here’s a tiny fragment of insight – so – as I biked into the plant to snap a pic of the plant , and in drives one of their management or livestock buyers- didn’t say anything but driving a new white ford ranger ute – with distinctive Black Fern symbol on the side – you see what seems like hundreds of these Silver Fern farm vehicles driving around the country and up farm roads. My guess is that they are all on 3 year leases and regardless of kms get flipped – I recall as GM of Borthwicks one of my hardest decisions was moving the buyers from 6 cylinder to 4 cylinder cars – the company cars was a huge deal and the howls of protest !

Anyway the point – I will get there so hang in . The difference between farmer cooperative or overseas owned companies and privately owned companies ( particularly where the management own shares in it ) is simple . Every day the company owned guys wake up thinking differently – how to make more with less – simple as that . So at ovation meat the 5 th biggest meat company in NZ there is only four company vehicles – the livestock managers . The CEO doesn’t have one !

There is a company pool car that is used to visit plants, meet customers, and pick up occasional visitors ( like me – haha ) . It’s a grey 10 years old Toyota Camry with 235,000kns on the clock! Goes like a charm and all that’s needed. No losses at this meat company!

It can be lonely riding all day but you think about the simplest stuff.

TA gravel Day 13 Matamata to Mangakino.

Riding out of Waikato to the central plateau – changes on landscape from dead flat dairy farming to rolling then steep dairy breeding / wintering and cattle farming . Harvest happening – silage making and maise harvest – maree closed the campervan windows due to an “ awful smell “ – such a townie That’s the sweet lovely smell of cows feeding on silage – haha . Down on trails past lake karipiro and onto the sleepy Mangakino with its own beautiful lake . I remember this place – when we rode 2020 – bluff to cape Reinga on road bikes – and thought it to be nzs friendliest town – lovely people talking to you in the street and so good at the coffee shop even as 25 roadies all asking for latte at the same time,

temperatures are cooling as we head south and up into the central plateau with mountains ahead . Taupo today – rest day .

Rest day Taupo – bloody beautiful – stayed at Motutere Bay between Taupo and Turangi on the beach . Maree went into town to do absolutely essential stuff – like pedicure, supporting the local apparel retailers with shirts , tops, makeup, oh and groceries too . Yes and found an outstanding Peroni bar overlooking the lake .

TA gravel day 14 – Turangi to taumaranui

Unfortunately we have to leave Taupo – loved it there but need to move south .

It’s taumaranui on the main trunk line and we stayed to link up with a Sunday shuttle into the mighty Pureora forest park – it’s bloody huge and I remember seeing part of it of it way over there in biking to Mangakino – so it is apparently as big as Singapore ( actually lake Taupo is bigger than Singapore ) . How about that for an irrelevant fact . The town is serious rundown with lots of closed shops and businesses – but the people of Taumaranui – super friendly . Hopefully the farmers are happy and prices except for wool are near a record high – so trickle it down to Taumaranui please.

TA gravel – day 15 Timber trail from Piropiro to Ongarue . This is the best mountain biking trail in nz – two days of bikers heaven through dense podocarp forests and native bush untouched !

It’s just possible to do the full 87 kms in a day but – um – reckon you would need lights to start and finish . The section I did today said 4-7 hours and I managed it ( with ergs ) in under 3 hours – so with a spare battery and guts and determination – one day would be on .

Some pictures along the way

And some pictures from our campsite at Taumaranui

We are in the middle of the NI – high on the plateau as far from the sea as it gets – and – I feel it . I have always lived where I can hear or see the sea and it matters . Don’t know how these people live so far away from it – interesting in vast countries like Midwest USA there are people who will never see the ocean and never feel like they should – I guess it’s like the American who decide against going to Venice and go to spend a week at the Venetian hotel complex in Vegas 😎. Yep it’s so true – well why wouldn’t you – no need to buy euros,they all speak English , it’s fully AC, plus you can get a gondaleer to push you along the imitation canal and sing a sickly song – terrific eh. I bet Trump is one of them – he doesn’t like anything other than mighty USA or any body other than a MAGA !

Day 15 Taumaranui to Ohakune – all gravel day and a bottla- so good because there was no one else !

Lots of climbing but zero traffic – in the first 2 hours I saw a Te Araroa walker ( the walking trail of 3000 kms from Bluff to Cape Reinga) and a ute ( a lineman for the county). Had one of those conversations out of the blue with the walker – introduced as Len from England and been walking the trail from bluff for 6 months alone – young tall rangy guy happy with himself and looking forward to a rest day in Taumaranui- had lots of questions I could answer like was there good inexpensive huts at the camping ground and where’s a good cafe ( yes to both no 75 cafe – old fashioned but super friendly – actually as everyone is in the town ) . It was a good conversation but not deep – I would have loved an hour to talk about life with him – and – does he get lonely walking alone and camping out somewhere alone for days and days – but it was his comment about the sea and not having seen it for a month – and a word he used when talking about getting lost and caught out high up on exposed ridges in bad weather – he said “ you have to be resilient “.

In nz we used to be resilient – take care of yourself , find a way forward in adversity, don’t look to others to provide for you, rise above whatever obstacle hits you!

My grandfathers who lived through the depression were resilient – but – also hardened and mean as it comes- their favourite saying “ you made your own bed now sleep in it “. My fathers generation coming out of WW2 were also resilient and resourceful but softer, my generation were resilient – we had to take care of ourselves and yes there was some state provided benefits like state houses, child benefit, and state paid medical care – but there was an attitude also of “ don’t look to your neighbour to support your life “ . But especially since COVID and the aftermath of the “ be kind” daily TV appearances of Jacinda telling everyone to stay home the taxpayer will look after you and working from home is a god given right – we have lost resilience . I know the majority of nzers still have the resilient attitude but when half of school kids parents are happy to let someone else provide their kids with lunch – bloody hell – where is their pride.

So these thoughts are swimming around as I bike through the isolated King Country – until all of a sudden – holy hell – I hit state highway 4 for 7 kms heading into Ohakuni ( carrot growing capital of nz ) . Talk about a wake up call – no margin left of the white line ,and trucks with trailers too wide for the highway and reluctant to go over the middle white line at over 100 kms per hour – means it’s suicide – really scary actually as you can hear them coming but can’t get more to the left as it is an inch of broken shingle then a big drop off – so close your eyes and feel the vacuum as they try to suck you right into the gap between the truck and trailer.

It wasn’t like this when we rode Bluff to Cape Reinga five years ago – we didn’t seem to have these monster truck and trailer units trying to kill us . Then I remembered a name – Harry Dynhaven !

So this guy was a Labour MP in the 90’sand the Helengrad government- minister of transport .

If you look for these on the website you will be disappointed with the vaugue description – it’s intentional – it’s the truckers association that’s giving NZTA the words – so using chat AI thus is what I got –

So yes State Highway 4 is designated HPMV truck killers and guess what so is state highway 6 the main route into Nelson through Hope and Richmond .

Last word – it’s hidden but you can find it – these vehicles are wider – the website says the maximum width hasn’t changed from 2.5m – but it has to 2.55m for HPMVs they are cunning buggers eh.

So – it’s a decision – it’s now to dangerous to cycle on any State highways – find another road or walk – thanks Harry you won we lost and it’s forever 😡

In ohakune we found a bar stool and a guy to share it

This guy was interesting – lives5kms up the Wanganui river from isolated village of pipiriki and accessible only by his jet boat . He’s a builder by trade and teaches part time at Ohakune school kids who want a trade – he was so proud that they were building a house on the school grounds – no power tools allowed . He had 12 kids , lives alone, built his house over 10 years on Maori land up river – character and fun to talk with as well as drink a Tūī with cos there is no Heineken 😊😊😊

Day 16 Ohakune to Wanganui via Pipiriki

ummm – had planned a 70 kms day due to hills and heavy rain – but – it turned into a 100 kms plus day and five hours bike time .

Long story short- yep I take the blame – Maree got tangled in Pipiriki with a woman of bad behaviour and due to misunderstanding I thought she was at the “ bridge to nowhere “ rather than on the right road “ wanganui river road” to meet me . Anyway she handled it and 1000 point turn required and we meet at a great coffee shop just in time before they closed the machine down ! It’s got a lot colder but I guess it’s autumn and we were super spoilt for sun up north – sun 🌞🌞🌞 please.

It says ……,,,,

“Because they see me with a beard and a pipe and long hair they say I am a poet “

Day 17 Wanganui to Hunterville – lots of gravel and hills

Biking out of Wanganui crossing over the main city bridge I looked up to a stairway of steps – like 200 – my wahoo said go there but I said no – I find an another way . Then I saw this weird tunnel – painted white – with moving chambers of colours – and started biking through . It’s the entrance to a 100 year old elevator system and a beautiful thing . Called the Duthie elevators it’s an ancient piece of machinery not to be missed – with a funny operator ( ex engineer ) who loved to chat.

The cost one way $2😊😊😊

The biking was great – zero traffic only about 10 minutes after leaving Durie Hill and the town centre – and no one there . The Tukina valley was deserted and sooooo quiet except for the magpies warble warble warble and the occasional bull bellowing at his harem and dog bark.

Lots of hills though to climb before the welcome town and Maree waiting at Hunterville 4 hours biking later – and coffee .

We had planned to stay in Fielding as there are few camping grounds in the Manawatu that allow dogs – and see old friends Rhona and Bernard who live there – but we got warned off as it is a Bogan place ! Maree got her geography mixed up and we ended up on the beach – far out – this isn’t Manawatu ! Nah it’s Hīmatangi mate – nice place and the surfing spot for palmy people !

Isn’t that a sight for the morning on the shelf of our campervan – yep- high speed modem, air fryer, latte expresso machine, and smart tv with a million channels and Netflix!

I could do without all of these except the expresso machine !

But it’s interesting – non of these were the 20 years ago and now we can’t live without them eh .

The Modem – essential for smart iPhone and Tv – but it’s not even 29 years ago the first smart phone was launched -iPhone 1 – 2007 !

Well before it we had everything we needed in our handheld Nokia phone- I remember thinking – I can call and text why the hell would I need a phone even to download emails – now I get the shakes if I can’t find it 😎✅

But the real hero was an English guy – Americans claim him cos he ended up a professor at MIT University there – but he was a computer scientist and effectively founded and wrote the first hypertext code as well as making it available as open source for the internet – Berners-Lee – born London 1945( yes an OK boomer – so derided by Greens leader Chloe – but sure as hell very ready to use any invention or product of the boomers ) , educated Oxford University and “gave” the internet to the world 30 years ago – so that’s what makes the gadgets work in the campervan.

Without this guy and “open source “ internet code there would be no Google, Facebook, cloud computing or Maree’s favourite wordle!

Data general a massive mainframe computer manufacturer in Ohio USA . She said over coffee one day “ the thing I miss most from being at Stanford is access to my daily mail box “. Naive me From NZ “ – you mean you miss walking down to the gate to collect the mail?”

Nah – she was talking in 1982 about opening her email box – an early form of it and only within her own company’s intranet so restricted to Data General people but there it was – the beginning if it ! Email !

Day 18 Manawatu to Wairarapa – Ashurst to Alfredton and Masterton

Closed in 2017 due to a huge slip the main highway from Palmerston North and the Manawatu to Hawke’s Bay was closed – it took another 5 years to get a new road further north through the Ruahine ranges and in the mean time secondary roads like the Pahiatua track which were windy and slow had to be used .

Today started out to be a 100 kms day and over 1000 m climbing but I had heard that cyclists were “ stealing “ through the old gorge road and as well as being flat would cut 30 kms off the ride over the Pahiatia track with super steep hills – so I thought its worth a go.

Was a bit daunting as I approached the entrance with huge concret e block barrier but I noticed a cycling nutter had cut a hole in the fence to squeeze through – so from there it was spooky and quiet – very like riding the Christchurch port hills illegally after the EQ- and looked the same – slips unmoved , huge boulders , deep wet patches and trees growing over and in the middle of the road – but very rideable . On the other side a country road down the Manawatu river to Pihiatua. Famous for only one thing – and actually inglorious – birthplace of the most pompous, arrogant,upper class British sounding Prime Minister New Zealand ever had – Kiwi Keith Holyoke . A complete tosser and in power during my university years and famous for linking arms with the USA on buying into the Vietnam war – Kiwi Keith once said “ All the way with LBJ” who was the President of the United Sates at the time -Lynden Johnson. He finally stepped down to John Marshall a far better bloke who then lost to Labour under Norman Kirk 1971-72. The reason I always considered Holyoake a right prick other than just his condescending way of talking was because he brought in the “ birthday ballot “ conscription to the nz army for the lucky 18-20 year olds of which I and a couple of my mates unfortunately won – I bloody hated the army- but worst kiwi Keith seriously considered sending nz conscripts to Vietnam to fight alongside USA in that devastating lost cause . I left Nz as soon as I could for England aged 21 and voted labour .Norman Kirk’s first act was to abolished the birthday ballot and compulsory army conscription! Brilliant – especially birthday ballot conscripts facing a one way trip to Vietnam to meet the Vietcong.

So today is a rest day before the Remutaka hill push tomorrow – Maree’s shopping in one of her all time favourite towns Greytown – it’s classy as – and I get to look after the boys and in an hour join her for a Sunday afternoon cocktail on the balcony of that beautiful white pub on the main street. It’s a balmy breezy day – we are just the most lucky country in the world right now with Trump and Putin out there trying to rule the world and even a member of the EU Turkey where the president Erdagon Is rounding up and imprisoning the opposition – so crazy .

I on a lighter note cos Maree thinks I am grizzly- I notice a few mainstream journos starting to get some positive time in the newspapers – like Ryan Bridges ex TV3 morning host in the Herald . There is starting to be a positive push on the fa ct that the current government got thrown under the bus with by Labour and the need for them to clean up the mess before a whole lot of new promises – I only wish they had had the guts to “means test school lunches “so that they only went to the kids whose parent can’t afford it ! there are green shoots eh !

TA gravel- Day 19 Last Day Carterton to Wellington

Started out gloomy and got more dismal as I approached Wellington – wonder why !

But coming out of Greytown I found a fantastic bike trail through to Featherston – all off road and a rail trail to Woodside linking tothe Tauherenikau trail into Featherston – keeping me off the state highway – from there off road all the way to the start of the Remutaka trail over to the Wellington side . I was thinking as I was going along – how this section would make a great weekend away for the BB boys and girls – like day one drive to Picton and cross to Wellington only with bikes and hit the pub ( or go to the ballet,theatre, opera , of orchestra – whatever suits ) day two shuttle to upper hutt and ride the trails to Greytown for cocktails on the balcony bar of the white swan in main st, day three repeat in the opposite direction ( or if 75 kms and 500 meters climbing is enough take the train back to Wellington , hit the pub again then last day cross the strait- fun trip eh .

Other than rain and low cloud the ride was great – except – when wahoo decided I needed a spanking . For no reason diverted me off the rail trail onto Forrest tracks over Goat pass then into a full on grade advanced downhill Mountain bike track – wet, slippery, moss covered, steep as – basically unridable and no one there . No option but to walk and slither down – bloody hell I didn’t buy into this one 😎

Relieved to finish in tact at the meeting point in Upper Hutt – darling Maree and boys there – load up the bikes and call it quits .

Loved the sun and warmth of the people and places in the far north east coast north of Wangarei – meet lots of New Zealand characters in funny isolated places through the NI plus a couple of ferals.

Admire hugely the walkers mostly solo doing the 3000 kms length of NZ Te Araroa trek ,and those doing the Tour of Aotearoa bikers all hoping to do the cape Reinga to bluff in 30 days. These guys are legends .

Pictures of the last day of riding follow

Started with ferry crossing 17th February – first day bike down 90 mile beach 22nd Fenruary – ferry crossing 23 rd March so 5 weeks and loved it .

1500 kms ( about 50% shingle and trail riding ) ,15000 meters climbing, 20 days biking and the rest were days off in between cruising around on beach or in pub – what a life .

To my darling Maree ❤️

I will try to record each day 7 th July to 28 th July 2024 . It’s a journey of 1650kms and surprisingly ( cos I always think of Britain as flat ) 20,000 meters uphill climbing .So – it’s like biking Nelson to Takaka every day for 19 days – how did Britain get so many hills !

Day one – LandsEnd to Truro ( Cornwall). 66 kms 800 meters .

Left from lovely hotel at Lands end the southern most place in England . It’s cold and rain with temperature about 15 degrees – yes it’s summer !

With a bunch of about 20 riders most I know well from previous rides – all good people. I am rooming with Ray – probably the only guy I would feel comfortable with – we laugh and respect each other .

Today is a shakedown – only 66 kms and 4 hours riding via Penzance and tiny villages which would be picturesque if the sun was out but really look gloomy and in disrepair in the dark overcast day .

Day 2 Truro to Lancaster

Long day -6 hours riding – 90 kms but 1500 meters climbing .

Cornwall definitely has no flat land – it’s either up sharply or down – except where we went across a high moor and the head wind was so strong that the rain felt like hail on the face !

Biking mostly narrow like super narrow country lanes with towering hedgerows 12 meters high on both side – means there are no views but at least it keeps the wind off . As I ride I wonder at the waste of these hedge rows – at least 4 meters wide the pasture land lost for production must be bloody huge – nz farmers would straight away dig them out and put in a four wire fence- but I know it’s not allowed and the council would have farmers in jail for it – cos they aren’t farmers and mostly greenies that believe they are part of being British , provide for wildlife like badgers – remember Jeremy Clarkson going on about how nuts it was and how most of Britain is anti farming ! By the way the badgers carry TB which means the cows get it and have to be slaughtered- not fun for cows eh .

Anyway we enjoyed their shelter and occasionally there were some wild flowers and roses 🌹

Pics of the day follow

day 3 .Launceston to Tiverton – 88 kms and 1300 m climbing – rain

Watching the weather forecast on BBC this morning the lady announcing tried to be optimistic about the summer – the male announcer ripped out “ the weather is Rubbish really “ – yes !

So we started out in rain and finished in overcast with some drizzle – it’s crap !

But – not to underestimate the British – well in this area – polite and courteous, the best drivers ever ( will never try to pass unless the way is clear ) , and there is no rubbish on the roadsides or graffiti in the towns – how does that happen !

We crossed from Somerset into Devon today and I found myself thinking about Thomas Hardy as we saw villages like north tawton ( Somerset and Devon were often called Wessex) , where we stopped for picnic lunch , and Dorcester and Pentridge which was the setting for the novel Tess of the Durbervilles. I was a huge fan of Hardy when I was last year at high school and at Uni – read all his novels like Tess, Mayor if Casterbrige , and Jude the Obscure . They were dark and moody books – not in the violent sense but more “ man’s inhumanity to man “ . The hero’s were the underdogs mostly young women and the villains the landed gentry – I think the reason I related to the lowly was that they accepted their lot – the guiding hand of fate mostly disregarding religion . I probably voted labour back then – haha . But as Winston Churchill said “ if you didn’t vote labour at the age of 20 you have no heart but if you still are voting labour at 40 you have no head “ or something like that .

Stopped at Shin Falls – the river flowing strongly over the falls – and salmon leaping up – well the occasional one getting there – and proving the theory of the “ survival of the fittest “ . I am sure that if you aren’t Scottish and tried to live here you would have to be one of those rare humans that hate the sun – and love dark heavy cloudy days – everyday ! You have to admire the Scots – they love their country and climate . Hey this post above is seriously out of context- it’s got ahead of the story by at least two weeks – I reckon I am being tracked by AI and it has revealed itself 😎

Big day tomorrow to Cheddar

Day 4 Tiverton to cheddar 100 kms – 800 meters 5 hours biking .

Left Tiverton in rain but guess what sun came out about lunch time and lasted most of the afternoon . Road via Taunton and High Ham through into Somerset – with the sun and less climbing it was a good days biking – plus with lower hedgerows that in Devon and

Cornwall there were glimpses of the idyllic English countryside with huge trees on full leaf . Lots of ancient churches and buildings en route . Meet with Brad and Dan from ovation in cheddar for diner and chat .

Pictures below of statues at a house gate – only a man would put these up – imagine arriving home after a bad day at work to be greeted by these guys – it’s why the owner is a drunk 🥴

Gorgeous Somerset countryside now that the hedgerows are lower so we can see – they say the hedgerows are there cos they are good for wildlife but – I haven’t seen one “ roadkill “ on the whole trip so that’s another lie !

day 5 Cheddar to Clearwell – 92 kms 1300m – 5 hours 30 mins ride time – hard day out

Today was long – partly due to getting lost in Bristol trying to find a bridge across the Avon river which is 20 time as big as the Avon we know in Christchurch . The problem was we got diverted by a police blockade – they had found two suitcases with body parts in them on the Clinton suspension bridge that we were supposed to cross – and – finding another was a problem . Also Chris the guide is a slow rider and they are bloody annal about everyone riding behind them – it’s a f….kn pain cos the longer the day is the more everyone gets a sore bum!

Anyway into Wales briefly after crossing the spectacular Severn river bridge and into Wales with its crazy signs in Gaelic . Into Gloucestershire and the homes in the gorgeous countryside more lavish – but – still old and mostly dark – stone walls and slate roofs . Arrived at Tintel abbey ruins – looking a bit like Christchurch cathedral – a wreak !

High point today riding through the grounds of Ashton Court near Bristol – massive mansion and buildings and park grounds which were kingHenry the rights hunting lodge !

Looking forward to Alice arriving today and rest day in Worcester tomorrow – everyone tired 😴

day 5 – Clearwell Gloustershire to Worcester via Upton on Severn – 82 kms , 800 meters – 4hours 30 mins ride time .

Started out in rain and cloud – no sunshine today – pretty much the same crap weather we have had since starting .but the cycling was great through country lanes ( and guess what – the hedgerows are lower and even now and then a normal fence so views! ) – for the most part – highlight meeting Alice at Upton on Severn for coffee . I had for some reason thought she was biking through to Worcester with us but of course she had the car – do with us for the rest day tomorrow then biking through the following two days. Last 25 kms biking on my own but had wahoo and ride with Gps so no problem. Ride into the city along bike paths and down the riverside walk path was great . Wow -rest day ahead 😊😊😊

day 9 Worcester to Ironbridge – lovely day starting in the sun but afternoon on heavy cloud – as the English say “ it’s changeable “!

74kms 1000m and 3 hour .30 ride time – quieter day but still a few sharp climbs .

From Worcester to Bewedly for coffee and visit to quaint village then onto ancient pan at halfway then to tiny busy with tourists village of ironbridge .

Sunday today so guys out on motorbikes together and even a club of lambretta scooter riders – seems like it’s a fine day so it’s out for a drive or moto .

Sooo good to ride again with Alice – and nice surprise at how lovely Iron bridge is as never heard of it . It has a marvelous iron bridge built 1779 and is called the birthplace of the “ Industrial Revolution” using the power of the river and paddle drives to power bellows in the steel and iron making furnaces and pumps in the coal mines before electricity.

It’s here we saw the final of the Euro football with Spain v England . The place has gone nuts over the game and Sunday pubs full and high expectations of a win.

We went away from the Best Westetn in Ironbridge to try to find a gritty loud bar with some football houligans – but ended up at Swan and it was tense game – better team won – Spain 🇪🇸. The skill level of the players is just amazing 🤩

Always amazes me how heroic the British are in defeat – or is it stoic – they lose so much I guess they get over it quickly and we didn’t see one “ bad loser “ . l have to admit I am such a bad loser – just can’t take it – sulk and swear and “ bear head “ for ages . But here it’s a shrug and – oh well – wasn’t to be !

Like ques – the Brits actually like them / they just line up and start talking like it’s ok and it happens all the times – I saw a Que of 20 women waiting at the loo on Penzance just chatting away and happy as !

Day 10 Iron bridge to Hartford in Cheshire 88 kms 800 m climbing – 4 hour 30 mins biking .

Steep climb out of the valley at Ironbridge into lovely pastoral and crop farming areas ( wheat, barley , potatoes, and seed cropping ). Hedgerows are lower and so occasionally get magnificent views over the rolling hills .

Through villages and towns of Cheshire that I have never heard of like Nantwich ( Dumb name eh ) , Winford, little Wenlock – and one I did know we know Shrewsbury ( like the biscuit ) .

The mansions and estates are evident everywhere – plus – Range Rovers, porches and Lamborghini s all driven by hedgehogs The place stinks of wealth . Inherited not earned ! That’s about to change as we go into the black country tomorrow as we head to Garstang between Liverpool and Manchester via Warrington , Wigan and St Helen’s and Preston . This is worker territory and the old industrial heartland of England . No toffs here !

Day 11 Hartford to Mellor – Lancashire – 82 kms 700 m climbing – slow 4 hours 30 mins due riding through towns with traffic lights .

Started out in steady rain – ☔️- must be 10 days so far of rain at some point in the day – but compensation – the hedgerows have lowered and sometimes it’s four strands of wire so at last can appreciate the rolling countryside. But heavy grey clouds and cool ( 11-15 degrees) – the dullness exaggerated the grim towns as we move through Lancashire the old industrial area of Britain with rows and rows of coronation street style row housing – and in dark brown / black brick – it’s yuk ! Plus for some reasons the roads have deteriorated with potholes and breakups – reminds me of home – haha . So we pretty much biked straight through to the small town of Mellor close to the famous football towns of Bolton wanderers and rugby league stalwarts of st Helen’s and Wigan . We are just west of Manchester .

Away from the villages the landed gentry seem very comfortable in their mansions and discoveries !

Day 11 Mellor to casterton near Kirby- Lonsdale – 74kms 1200 m climbing – 4 hours 30 ride .

Up into the moorland of the Yorkshire dales and finally left behind the Hedgerows so we can see the beautiful rural countryside with livestock and hay making . Down from 400 meters on the moor to the Trough of Borland at Staidborn for coffee . On arrival at the market town of Kirby Lonsdale we walked over the “ devils bridge “ into town – a guy came up alongside me to ask about the journey and I said “ wow we got a hint of sun today – he said – enjoy it cos today is summer “!

Then onto the town and terrific icecream shop with all the flavours made from milk sourced from cows living within 3 miles of the shop – then on to the highlight “ ruskins view“ supposed to be the best landscape view in Britain – well it’s ok but the story with it is better .

Apparently the farm which in in the distance of the view wanted to extend the barn – council said no cos it would possibly spoil the view – far out . So the farmer then painted his barn in technicolor- kind of a f….k you moment – and the council had no power to stop him . Love it when the little guy gets his own back against the bureaucracy!!!!! See it in the pictures …………

Big days ahead 93 kms then 125 kms – ahhhhhhh.

Day 11 Casterton to Hall bank gate ( a tiny village with us staying at the only old pub called Belted Will !) 97 kms – 1400m climbing – 5 hours ride time . We have covered 1000 kms now of the 1700 km journey.

Lots of sharp hills but magnificent views over low stone walls as we ride in the Cumbria fells – like the foothills or fells of the Pennine mountains ( we would call them hills ) titled the “ spine of Britain) . We are close to Carlyle and the Lake District – and stopped for coffee at a small town which is the mid point of a walk from the west coat to the east coast of Britain – there were some ramblers as they call them on the trail .

Rolling country lanes through beautiful farms mostly pastoral and harvesting of hay and silage – houses have reverted to farm homes and buildings not mansions and play farms – vehicles are working trucks, landrovers, and giant tractors ( like Jeremy Clarkson Lamborghini! ) towering massive trailers with triple wheels and double deck livestock levels by rather than Discovery s- I haven’t seen a single stock truck NZ style – all the stock seems to move by tractor and trailer driven to market by the farmer – this is real farm and work !

No sun – only grey brooding skies and threat of rain – that guy yesterday on the devils bridge was bloody right – the hint of sun we got yesterday was summer – it’s passed by !

Finished the day at the pub with a Cronnenburg beer – nice .

Huge day tomorrow as we ride from England into Scotland – 125 kms and 1700meters climbing ! It’s ok cos it’s a rest day the day after .

day 12 Talkin ( Cumbria ) to Cardrona near Peebles ( Scotland ) . 123kms, 1700 meters climbing, 6 hours ride time – long day out !

Started biking early due forecast rain again . Short and Sharp ( like 15-20%) climbs for the first 50 kms until we reached the Scotland border which knocked the stuffing out of the guys on muscle bikes – but then the sun came out of an hour before heavy rain as we climbed to lunch stop at 70 kms . Not to worry – the higher we climbed the more it looked like central Otago – and – believe it – we started to run into names like Ekktrick, Cardrona and Aviemore . The settlers into Dunedin and central brought the names for the villages with them .

Great riding for the last 50 kms – smooth rides Soaring views and huge downhills at speed – love Scotland but just wish the heavy cloud and drizzle would bugger off – no wonder the Scot’s are so deadly pale !

It’s the weekend – everything in the nearby town including the essential laundrette is closed – for a festival of Scottish stuff in the afternoon – cancelled due rain forecast – oh well it’s laundry in the hotel bath and washing hanging everywhere trying to dry – 1st world problem eh ! just like the “ cloud strike” minor IT upgrade that just knocked out IT all over the world – USA all planes grounded , banks close, surgery cancelled – wonder what that coder and his implementation teams exit package is 😎. Rest day – yummmmm !

Day 13 Rest day – Cardrona and Peebles

Today was a kick back and relax – plus – get the weeks laundry done . Ummmm – the local laundromat has closed – due to – the one on Peebles is a labour unit down and closing at 1 pm , and the resort we are staying at doesn’t do laundry 🧺. Soooooo – it’s full the bath , wash the essentials and hang it all around the bathroom hoping it will dry ! Never mind – been there before but it is a real p…..s off !

But – found a great pub and Italian restaurant so simple food like spaghetti bol and prawn cocktail . Followed by a few beer and great sleep before we head off to Edinburgh and Kinross !

So the point is that I haven’t seen any old “ dunger” car in uk – why is that . By comparison nz average is over 14-15 years old – yes right up there with Estonia and Greece! I thought it might be because in uk it’s a requirement to have insurance ( and the insurance co won’t cover old dungers, or the MOT ( our WOF) is tougher – who knows – but we pick up in nz the old cars from UK and Japan which drive like we do on the left hand side . So the question is – are we wise or thrifty and make them last longer or are we just a third world country and poor ? I can’t decide 😊

Day 14 Cardrona ( Peebles Scotland ) to Kinross via Edinburgh – 95 kms and 900 meters climbing – almost 5 hours biking but it was very slow through busy Edinburgh.

Great days biking mostly on terrific bike tracks once we got into and north of Edinburgh – love to come back and ride here again as it’s a bikers city with many different trails .

Start out from the course at Cardrona was wet and cold – for the first 40 kms in the countryside and as we got higher was 10-11 and we max for the day at 14 – Nelson is warmer than this and it’s winter! But the Scot’s don’t care – we are all rugged up with gear and they are riding and walking around in tee shirts – I guess hoping for a ray of sunshine .

Biking into Edinburgh from the south was a bit bleak actually – poor housing and a surly guy yelling at me for not being in the bike path – but as we got past that – through a beautiful park where the locals were playing tennis in tee shirts and through the university district into the centre- George st – that changed . Many young people and hordes of tourists here for the “ fringe festival” – the uni makes a big difference to the age of the people !

Out through the “ Mayfair” of Edinburgh with posh row houses and secular st Mary’s church , onto bike paths north through the “ high rent “ district of mansions in huge grounds – there’s a strong smell of wealth in the northern are I haven’t seen anywhere else . Then onto your a little village at the forth bridge ( I remember this from school days as an engineering feat) across the firth .

Spectacular biking over the new bridge way up high and then onto through rolling country side of wheat and hay/ silage to Kinross – lovely small village that used to be the wool spinning and weaving centre of Scotland .

Welcomed to a really nice pub to stay with a Maserati coffee machine that makes the best macchiatos !yahhhh.

Day whatever ? Think it’s 15 – like 5 to go ! From Kinross to bridge of Cally via Perth and Blairgowie – quiet day 65 kms and 800 kms – gets bigger from here !

So left at 11 am – wow a sleep in ! As usual cold and threatening to rain – now I really understand why the British go to Spain, Portugal Italy , Croatia, Greece – in fact anywhere but Uk for their holidays ! It’s just total lack of sun – as we biked today through what , barley and potato field I said to one of the girls – “ you know why British potatoes taste different – why – it’s the lack of vitamin D ( from the sun ) – I explained it’s like the lack of selenium in Nz soils and why horses have to have supplements- so in Uk they have to give D to the spuds – haha – she believed me ! Got mr thinking about the mistake I made in buying some 50 + in landsend – sure as hell an unnecessary purchase .

Went to Scone castle for a look from the distance just north of Perth – very grand but we didn’t get past the man gate – tourist busses and ticket collectors there – as well as castle tours are just not on the agenda . but – site of the crowning of Scottish kings and Queens .

Scottish people are super friendly – in fact lovely – and the drivers all over UK are the best in the world for politeness and consideration to cyclists – safe as can be here ! So pics of the day .

day 16 Bridge of Cally to Tomintoul via Braemar and Balmoral castle ( summer residence of the royals ) – 97 kms , 1600 meters climbing , 5 hours ride time .

A really big day – four monster climbs up into the Scottish highlands – which got so steep in parts that the guys on non e-bikes had to get off and walk .

Got some sun today – weak – but yea it is there somewhere above UK . Lots of Scottish castles along the wai and then up into the ski areas high up in the highlands with national parks and heather . It’s cool – not much over 15 – but I guess we are getting north now having biked over 1200 kms – 4 days biking to go – Inverness tomorrow .

Pics of the day follow

Day 16 or 17 -Tomontoul to Inverness ( capital of the Scottish highlands ) – 85 kms 800 meters climbing 4 hours 30 – sloe quiet day – but we got SUN !

Love Scotland – it’s mellow . The hotel we stayed in at Tomintoil was like fawlty towers – except no Basil or she who must be obeyed . Run by older women who kindly took our damp laundry from days trying to get it dry and put it through their dryer no charge delivered to our room . But the kitchen was sooooo disorganised – chef great , food terrific , timing and organisation zero ! Never mind it was fun .

Yesterday Barbara Wilkins ( husband Jerry eminent heart surgeon from Dunedin and z good bastard ) went with Ralph the Braemar castle – she had a book put together by her mother when they lived in Motueka which traced her ancestors back to the 1500 and were owners of the castle and nearby balmoral as well plus huge estates . She had a picture of her great grandmother at the castle a hundred years ago – she thought she might be allowed to see inside / but was treated like royalty when the people there realised who she was – nice eh .

Biking today was quiet on zero traffic lanes across the heather uplands to Inverness – we arrived early do got the chance to get to z bar ( Hootnany bar ) with a couple of young guys banging out wonderful full on Scot’s music – loved it !

Three days biking to go – everyone’s legs are tired especially the guys on road bikes ! Pictures of the day follow

Two young guys in the Hootnannys bar singing and playing great music of Scotland . Loved our stay in Inverness !

Day 17 – Inverness to Lairg – 90 kms ,800 meters climbing , 4 and half hors bike time .

Started in cold strong wind – noted as we crossed the foot bridge to the city that a young woman pushing a bike had heavy woollen sweater and scarf – they know how to dress for summer .

Somehow the day went quickly – I think because the wind was a tail wind and climbing not severe – winding through the highlands on country lanes empty of traffic and breathing big lungs full of fresh pure Scottish air .

A few pictures follow

Day 18 Lairg to Bettyhill and first glimpse of the North Sea . Easy peasy day – 72 kms and 500 meters climbing with wind behind and mostly downhill – sooooo nice . Started out from Lairg in cold strong wind from the north west but it was either on the side or behind so not a problem – fastest ride so far so arrived at 1 pm only just over three hours riding !

We climbed from Lairg up into the high Scottish highlands – like central Otago but kind of round and not jagged – plus of course wet and green . No one around and just as well as it was a one lane sealed road with passing spaces every so often – drivers have deteriorated unfortunately as we go north with many not slowing down and bikers having to stop on the verge or scramble a bit to get away – not good really . I don’t think intentional and some like those towing caravans are just lacking experience – no excuse though for the local road maintenance guys who just barrel pass and don’t give a s….t .

Spectacular wide open views – and – threatening clouds but we lucked in again and only got some rain and cold wind in the last 10 kms.

Lots of history of land clearances of the “ crofters and subsistence farmers in the early 1800’s by – you guessed it Lords , kings and English sheep farming interests – some very nasty behaviour and further man’s inhumanity to man – as well as plain crime and brutality – some of which lead the perpetrators to the gallows in Inverness and Edinburgh. I took some pictures of a couple of explaining displays below – life was hard as hell back in the day – and many immigrated to USA, Canada and Australia if they could .

One day to go – journey is close to ending – one of the riders said she was sad it was coming to an end – I am sure others are relieved as their bum and legs are sore ! For me its great to be almost there – but in reality its not about starting at Landsend in Cornwall at the seas and finishing at John O’ Groats in Scotland at the sea – it’s about every day in the open air mostly alone , seeing and hearing different things and places most of which are new and interesting – as well as the people you are with and meet along the way – some eccentric, some stupid and annoying, some inspiring .

I love the Ernest Hemingway view on “ why do a Journey “ –

“ It’s good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters, in the end .”

Pictures of the day follow –

Day 19 – last day – Betty to John o’ Groats and the end of the journey – 82 kms , 800 meters climbing – 4 hours .

Total for the journey 1700 km and 15000 meters climbing – so over 18 days it’s a bit like Nelson to Takaka every day with a couple of ready days – so everyone is pleased to get there safe and sound that’s for sure .

Started out with a celebration – Graeme Oakley is 83 today – he always wears orange socks – didn’t bike at all until 20 years ago when he biked the “ ride the 2000 Tour de France route “ trip with us in 2014 .

Rob Oakley had been on this journey to accompany him and last night gave everyone orange socks to wear for the final day as a celebration- nice eh !

Started out in SUN – hello – but soon reverted to heavy black clouds and temps plunged – we hit through with a little rain . Actually the weather could have been so much worse – no sun – but what if it rained everyday which it didn’t so “ look to the positive “.

Through Thurso and Reay – highlands and seascapes to JOG arriving about 2 pm – the kms now fly by – we are all a lot fitter and the distances seem small now rather than a challenge – but it’s the end the trip and last night together .

It’s actually a perfect night – hard to believe as I look out to the Orkney island from johnO’Groats that the evenings could be so calm and sunny at 9pm .

Biking – I heard a guy talking in radio nz just before I left – he had rode around the world twice – the interviewer asked him “ what is it about biking “. He said “ it’s the speed “ – long pause and interviewer asked why !- he said “well it’s just the right speed to see the surroundings you are riding through , hear the local sounds, and take in the fresh air “ .

And he is right 😊😊😊😊😊

Pictures of the day follow

Now to Milan …..,, and seeing darling Maree after three weeks.

But a celebration dinner of all the riders tonight so may post some more pics . It’s was Graeme Oakleys 83rd birthday today – that’s why we are all wearing orange socks in sympathy! Bloody good on him being an End To Ender at 83😎

End

Ps this is the days and Route through Britain .

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It’s been three years since I did a bike blog. So I will try on this trip biking in Colombia .

It’s quite hard to get to do was 36 hours , and three flights via Houston and Bogotá to Medellin – and arrived as usual stuffed and with the bloody flu !

I knew Colombia was going to be good as soon as I had a latte at the airport on arrival Bogotá – outstanding !!! Better than the nz baristas . Then when I saw a photo in the metro station- a face old and full of the “ joive de lieve “ of life – a poet called Leon de greiff – a country that can celebrate a poet 1895-1976 after all the terrible times they have been through are ok 😊.

The text says “ Because of my beard and hair and tall pipe they say I am a poet “

Below is the Colombian version of windscreen washers st the traffic lights – they have a minute to do their act and get out of the way – look out – lights changing 😎

Day one – a medillin city bike tour . Talk about chaos – sometimes bike track , footpath , or terror on the road with 1000’s motor bikes and scooters – only downside is seeing beautiful young people riding , but do many without helmets . It’s a young country with huge numbers of young people – they all happy and laughing and the girls dress to kill . Must be big university’s here and the only bikes are guys out training ! Was glad to get back in one piece !

That’s the tour group above outside our hotel in Medellin famous as the 1980 – 90 ‘ s world centre of the cocaine trade – and overseen by warlords of organised crime on a massive scale – if you want more just watch NARCOS series on Netflix!

Day 2 – got flu big time but can ride ebike so should be ok . So it’s a long hard ride 82 kms and climb 2000 meters ,which I haven’t climbed for years . Out of Medellin in super heavy traffic on a steep climb for 1000 meters double carriage way and lots of monster trucks – this the only place we have seen any bikes – and – they are crazy roadie training in the hills – apparently the Tour de France Colombian riders use it for training . Once over the top it was up and down between 2000 and 2500 meters altitude all the way to lake Gautape high in the mountains east of medillin . Now into the rural and poorer area but – guess what – everyone is still smiling and laughing with each other . Lovey people and respectful to each other .

At top of the mountain between medillin and gautape . With Ray and I and a small happy guy.

day 3 – 45 kms and 1200 meters climbing . Lake guatape to corvorna reserve . What looked like a pretty ordinary day turned out to be great. Bike fast down hill from lake Gautape to a bush jungle walk to a wild river and canyon for a swim in fresh deep pool- soooo – good as it was 30 degrees . Some pictures follow – the local town is lively as its a nations holiday – the houses and taxis / tuk tuk s are bling bling – maree would love it . We got lost on the trail a couple times . There was a guide but she didn’t know to leave someone when the trail forked – pretty basic but a bit frustrating – highlight – the swim and the jungle lunch – a parcel wrapped in palm leaves tied with a flax – inside and still warm on a bed of rice an egg, sausage, and pork strip with a potato cake and for drink what the guided called “ farmers coke” – water, suger, lime juice . The area we were in was until recently prohibited for anyone to go in – due to the terrorist groupFARC which operated for 40 years . A communist group backed by Russia and Cuba . We passed the Colombian equivalent of a nz “ breath trap “ – difference was there were troops with rapid fire rifles all around and they were searching the car for drugs – it’s still here !!! Great day out !

In the evening we went to the old town of Gautape for a walking tour . It’s now a tourist town mainly for Colombian families so on their national holiday weekend it was buzzing with people . The old town has very narrow streets and a crowded central square overlooked by the cathedral . Our guide was a young vibrant girl with a big big smile – and she talked like a machine gun – rapid fire which I had trouble picking up .

So the town has a pop of 10,000 which swells to 40,000 on weekends and public holidays . It has reinvented itself – had to as it almost died . The area 50 years ago became a hydro dam an the artificial lake created flooded huge areas of the small farms – sounds like the town was affected as the farmers left for the cities to become urban poor . Then in the 80’s and 90’s it was hit again by being at the centre of the LEN and FARC terrorist war with the central government. These two organisations ran a 40 year civil war – seriously vicious with a lot of civilian murders and financed by kidnapping for ransom . Thousands died or disappeared so many left the town for safety to the big cities . FARC had up to 40,000 fighters- it was a communist far left organisation originally arising as a peasant revolution backed by the catholic clergy ,when large land owners backed government began exiting the small peasant subsistence farmers . It was financed by Cuba, with links to the IRA and taliban so seriously nice people !

Anyway the town was faced with disaster and chose tourism based on family lake holidays plus the idea of making the old town unique – with painting the outside of the houses with vibrant colours – and it worked !!!!

Bloody Nelson counsellors should come and have a look at how to reinvent the town and pull it up by its bootstraps from nothing ! Pretty amazing what paint and design can do . Plus focus on one area and get it right rather than spread the money all around on useless projects and consultation .

Pic follow !

We went to a Cuban restaurant- great and very funny night – I had bought a couple of cookies at a shop on the tour – and as we had to wait a couple of hours for the food we had a snack – Rob , Ralph and I chewed – man instant happiness ! Everything was funny and the jokes were flying – Rob in particular was high as cos he had a whole cookie – joke of the night as we were leaving and Julie was playing with the restaurant cat he said to me “ how do I tell her she shouldn’t ….SPIP……” far out what a funny night !

Day 4 Gautape to Rio Claro going east .

A long day in hot sunny conditions – 85 kms and 1500 meters climbing but some awesome downhill runs as we left 200 meters altitude to end at 500 meters – riding in 35 degreees means serious dehydration so we all needed beer on arrival . Staying at lovely thatched buros and beautiful huge pool – ahhhh just what needed . Quiet night and up early to watch day 3 live our time at breakfast of the Tour de France as it leaves the basque region for France . We are in jungle area – steep hills and mountains covered with bush – reminded me of riding the West Coast from zHaast through to Charleston . Rural poor area now with shacks and lots of road side very basic cafe/ bars playing loud music – Colombians love their music – louder the better – even when we are by the pool the staff bring out the speakers big time – love to bottle some of their love of life and bring it home !

Day 6 rest day – well turned out not to be 😎 when to raft down the Rio Claro – was supposed to be grade 2 white water but at the pull out point Ralph negotiated to go the next section of river – I wondered why we were the only ones and we had to wait for a more experienced guide – we got 2 both aged about 17 ! Anyway I am convinced these rafting companies should be required to get ID before pushing off – to exclude pensioners . The next section was hard out – I knew that when we had to climb down a super rapid and waterfall and when the guided ( we had two rafts ) did high 5 s when we got through the rapids – it seriously tested a few of the guys who were not just uncomfortable – I could say scared shitless ! Poor Ray and todd was all over the place with Marion giving orders to him about needing to paddle harder – he was actually a bit slow like the number 8 getting to the scrum when the ball was already in ! Anyway we had a few swims in the beautiful clear Rio Claro in Amazon like jungle for a few hours .

Day 7 Rio Claro to maniples

Now for something weird – we went last night before dinner to Santorini – well a replica of the gorgeous Greek island right in the middle of Colombia – it was built by Pablo Escobar the 80’s- 90’s drug king of the medillin cartel that ruled the coccsine trade and became the richest person in the world . There is a couple of amazing series on Netflix about the time . Anyway he was so taken with Santorini he decided to recreate it – along with a zoo at his residence which at his death in a gun fight with police in 1994 the zoo had 4 hippos . Everything turned to shit after his death and the hippos escaped and loves the rivers and jungle – at last count their were 250 terrorising the farms and people – so the govt has decided to sterilise them !!!! anyway the wander through Santorini Colombia style was different and way less crowed that the original – but no – I prefer that . Pictures follow !

day 7 . Easy day only 50 kms and pretty flat – but – it’s the lowest part of Colombia at only 100-150 meters so hot as hell – started out at 33 overcast and very humid but by midday my Garmin said was 37 . So was so good to get earlier to the hotel and into the pool and a beer . the countryside has changed totally from the jungle of the last couple days to open cattle ranches with nanes including heicenda and ponderosa rancha ! Plus weird rocky outcrop mountains in the distance .

Tomorriw is set to be a big test – 90 kms but climb to 3700 on the longest bike climb in the world .

Day 8 . Mariquita to Manizales -via the famous Alto de Letras climb known by all serious road bikers as the longest climb in the world – 85 kms and 4000m climb ending at the 3700 m col ( same height as Mt Cook ) so a big day riding . We were up at 4.30 and started riding in the dark at 5.30 with lights in our bikes .

Up to a lunch stop at 11 am for very traditional coffee and a plate of rice and beans with some chips – at about 2500 meters height. There was a swap out of batteries also here . The mountains changed from banana palms , and some avocado plantations to peasant farms with a few cattle and pigs but as it got higher no farming was possible . The housing is very third world now – just dark shacks at the roadside and occasional makeshift food stall selling basic fruit and bananas and traditional beans tortilla and rice – plus coffee.

At about 10 kms before the peak my battery ran out – the e-bikes are impossible to ride without power – you just seem to fight the motor as well as the hill and I fell off trying cos I couldn’t get out of the cleats ! Ahhhhhh bugger – so it was down to pushing the heavy bike uphill – and as the air got thin that was tough going . Thankfully after a couple kms the van showed up and I managed to swap out to get me to the top – so relieved!

I think the last time I road over 3500 was in 2015 on the tour de france epic day we did 167 kms and road the Pyrenees mountains between Spain and France and climbed up the Hautecom on that day – and – I rode it with the same guys today Ralph, Ray, Rob ( and Rob did the ultimate as he did back in 2015 ) , in 8 hours road time and finished 4000 meters climbing on a road bike . Have to say even with the ebike , and coughing my way up with flu , it still a tough 6 and a half hours especially the last 1000 meters in thin air – everyone was stoked to finish and have a coffee ( for some reason they brew it sweet here ) at the top . Pictures follow of the day . We were so lucky with the weather – fine a cool last 10 kms , then 15 mins after finishing a huge storm – rain and rapid temperature drop – I was quickly frozen I guess which is expected being the same height as Mt Cook – so layers on and load up – out if there .

We staying after that at a thermal resort – hit pools, and rest day with fab Colombian food and coffee to revive – yummmy

Day 9 From the 3700 m mark we transferred down a couple hundred meters to a Thermal spa lodge at 3500 meters . It’s was a test day in a little bit of luxury and we needed it . We still at super high altitude and even climbing stairs brings in heavy breathing – has a strange effect on the body that’s for sure – like a small nose bleed and headache . The flu is back so most of Thursday just taking it easy and sleeping – plus a beautiful spa in the hot hot pools late in the day . Extraordinary little humming birds here are very tame. Good to rest up .

Day 10 Downhill run from a transfer to 4000m from the spa. Cold up there so everything ( 5 layers of clothing ) on – it’s amazing the temperature drop at 4000m .

Down down into the main town of Manzales which has about 1 m people and universities- but we hit serious roadworks and heavy traffic congestion so decided to can further biking for the day – just as well as a storm cane in and heavy as hell rain . We transferred to a Coffee plantation tour near Pereira the centre of the coffee growing area of the Andres mountains – coffee needs 16-25 degrees climate and this area is ideal . We went to Don Juan coffee plantation for a visit and hugely enthusiastic download on the family and coffee germination and growing from a woman who had passion ! Was really interesting and she said there were about 450,000 small coffee growers in Colombia producing a big share of the worlds premium coffee beans most being hand selected and picked . Brazil no1 , Colombia no2 in the world for coffee production .

Day11 . After the coffee tour we bought beans to take home – I chose the natural dark brew beans – they like the more expensive sweeter beans which have a longer process as the beans are soaked in water with honey – everyone to their own . Thinking maybe I could try to grow coffee at kaiteriteri- probably would get two cups a year from the one tree and below 16 degrees would kill it – mmmmm – let’s see 🇨🇴

We transferred to a lovely lively town which was buzzing with local tourists – Salento with bars and brightly painted doors and facades – we hit the square at 7 pm and some of the guys hit the tequila big time – next morning were wrecked !!! No sympathy from the rest as we loaded to head up the Cocorná valley to the los nevados national park – it’s high again over 2500 m but lush green with steep jungle rain forest mountains around – talking about rain forest 55% of Colombia is covered by forest – nz has 38% in forest and native bush- there’s marees word again – so there is a massive amount of carbon absorption going on around here – of course the silly secret is that the greenies in Wellington when they measure the green house gas emmisions for NZ chose to ignore the native bush – they say because it’s mature it is not absorbing much carbon – it’s absolute crap and their ugly little secret that helps their argument to bash everyone including farmers ! Oh and one other thing – Colombia like NZ generates most of its electricity from hydro dams so is not only green everywhere you look but also green to the greenies – haha .

Pics follow of Salento and the big downhill bike through the gorgeous Cocora Vally and mountains

Day 12 . A long and bouncy transfer on the bus 350 kms from Salento to the Capital Bogotá – the roads were steep in the Andes Mountains and often poorly maintained so the drive was slow – 9 hours – but the scenery was gorgeous – plantations of coffee and Banana s, avocados and as we got closer to Bogotá and lower down on the sunny facing slopes potato’s , fruits like strawberries, mango, plantain ( which is a banana like fruit that they slice and fry – tasty as ) and flowers . Colombia is the second largest flower exporter in the world I guess mostly to USA .🌷🌸🌼🌻🌞

Bogotá is a big big city 8m people and we drove in through crappy dusty suburbs for at least an hour in slow jammed up traffic on a Sunday afternoon – hate to drive in on a weekday – Colombians are good drivers – they have to be cos it’s like dogems with cars motorbikes huge trucks all wieving the lanes – no horns like Europe blasting out just inches between cars – they are courteous but aggressive- don’t think I could drive in this !

We staying right in the centre of the old city in a beautiful old building opposite historic places and walking ( we did a short guided walking tour ) distance to the main square, cathedral, justice palace and Supreme Court . I recalled the Netflix episode when paulo Escobar the drug king and once wealthiest and most ruthless person on the planet formed an alliance with the communist terrorist group called M19 and in 1985 attacked the parliament and blew up the Supreme Court – why – cos the drug enforcement police had stored a huge haul of evidence against him in the most secure place in Colombia – the vaults of the Supreme Court – so M19 stormed it with tanks and burnt it down destroying all the evidence ! In repayment Escobar had the leadership of M19 killed along with police, judges and politicians including the elected president – it was mayhem in the 80’s and 90’s until the police shot him in 1994 .

Anyway it was busy in the main square but we didn’t feel as safe as in the rural areas somehow – just shady buggers and people with thehand out . A couple of gems though – a beautiful singer and a juggler – street performers in the capital !

Pics follow of the last day including

the two gems-

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So – it’s adios Colombia . A surprising country and one that lived up to the speech made by the new president immeadiately after the drug cartel’s assassinated the previous one in 1985 – “ God made our land so beautiful that it was unfair to the rest of the world “ !

It’s boarded in the north by Panama and the Caribbean Sea, east by Brazil and that despote nation Venezuela, south by Equator and Peru and west by the Pacific Ocean . It’s 50+ million people on half the average income of New Zealanders but from what I saw twice the happiness , plus everyone knowing there is no free handouts and hard work is the way forward . Surprisingly 40 % of their exports are coal and oil and there is no sign they want to stop farming and producing food . And for Terry – Jorge Pombo an electrical engineer invented the pace maker into production in 2005.

As I sat in my airplane seat taking off from Bogotá airport I was startled to look around me as we lifted off – everyone was crossing their temple and chest from side to side and muttering a prayer – bit scary if that’s how much confidence you have in the pilot and plane but then 90 % are Catholics about double the believers in NZ .

It’s been a great trip – loved it and loved Colombia 🇨🇴

Day one – Invercargill – 25 th October 2020

I will try to keep this blog going each day of the 42 days ahead – we are biking the length of New Zealand 3000kms and 20,000 meters climbing – if we make it .

It’s covid 19 and the world is locked down – weird that a virus can change so much including zero overseas travel and lives on hold for probably a year – so – With Ralph and the crew organising from global cycle tours we decided to not sit around waiting !

As the days go by I will detail the crazy buggers on the trip ( and …. there are some nut cases for sure ) and the events with some pics of I can . 😎

DAY 1 Invercargill to Bluff Hill and return

65 kms 3 hours – gale Nor west wind made the first half nice the last half f…n hard work as the wind gusts tried to grab the front wheel n tip me off .

Apologies to anyone born in bluff – one of the only thing good about it is the oysters ! It’s the the wild west really – a good place for Jacinda to start by bowling most of the housing and starting again. Lovely views from the old town though across the harbour to to picturesque Tiwai aluminium smelter.

To cyclists Bluff Hill has meaning – the pro cyclists race up it in the tour de Southland – but to ride it is torture – only 300 – meters climb but all over 15% with stretches 20%+ – wow – even the pros without a granny gear have been known to walk that part and pass their mates still riding .

Pics follow of the crew on this trip – one or two under 60 and overall they are not a pretty bunch – if there was ever a beautycontest this lot would fill all the bottom place – that is except the 4 women – they are great !

Continue reading →

Prague

So this is where we begin. It was supposed to be Paris to Istanbul following my notion of the route of the Orient Express but Ralph could not be convinced – not sure whether that meant it couldn’t be done or there would be no customers . So that one will wait for a future date.

I am anxious here in beautiful Prague because I have arrived minus my baggage and precious Colnago – Air nz just forgot to load them in Auckland.so – I am trying to look to the positive – I had clean underwear and tee shirt in my carry on as well as a toilet bag just in case. But I am worried about Marees two bottles of sulphite free wine from Seresine in my case – what if they are never found .

Prague is lovely – warm and easy . but already in late May it’s crowded . Thank god I am not here in July- August – every sq inch of the cobbles would be covered by tour people and the astronomical clock ( which is under repair for two years and a digital version available ) would have to be viewed with binoculars !

I do try to ignore them but to be honest I am not good with crowds – viewing them from the hop on hop off bus is best .

Day 1 to 6

I did put some days up but the WordPress failed some how and I lost it – not to worry .

It’s day 7 – rest day in Berchtesgaden ( meaning mountain garden in German ) – a lovely place in the south about 40kms from Salzburg . Sunday – church bells,no shops open , and sunny / warm . People out riding and walking – most of the guys went to see eagles nest the wartime Hilter/ Nazi mountain HQ . Me -well bugger Hitler he’s about as far from my interest as I can imagine anyone – and in a way going to some shrine to him kind of legitimises the bastard . I had a great Greek restraunt lunch , quiet bike to Konisee , caught up on the laundry and missed the princess. Called David , jet n yara ( her 4th birthday this week) .

The biking has been great weather in fact probably too hot in the afternoon approaching 30 and not cooling till late at night .

Prague to Tabour (Czech republic)- 5 hours 45mins biking,104 kms,1400 meters climb hard day

Tabour to Cesky Kumlov ( gorgeous medieval town – must come back )- 6 hours biking,123 kms,1200 meters climbing – very hard day in heat with 15% climb to finish

Chesky Kumlov to Scholegen ( Austria) ( tiny lake side village) – 6 hours biking, 121 kms,1900 meters climbing.✌️

Scholgen to Stobl – 6 hours 10 mins biking,125 kms,1300 meters – after climbing all morning we came down the Danube on a gorgeous tow path .

Strobl to Berchtesgaden ( Germany ) over the Geshutt pass the first mountain pass of the trip – strange to be above the tree line again . Down through the most beautiful farming areas – picture perfect Heidi land – no livestock and all grass for cutting, wheat and barley cropping – clearly only viable with huge subsidies.

Two monster climbs 13-15% – some of the crew off walking too steep.- 5 hours 50 mins biking,95 kms,max 65 on great roads,1600 meters climbing.😍😎

Great to reach Berchtesgaden after visiting the Hellbrun palace scene of part of the ” Sound of music ” movie . Relax and have beers – Todd Heller’s stories a bloody laugh – more simpsons duck ! Visit to Salzburg – they have seen off the Germans and Russians but now the invasion of Asian tourists with selfie sticks driving everyone mad – s fr…kn shrill !😇😇😇

Word press went on strike then spat out all my posts – grrrr! So I will try to catch up with some photos.

End of week one

574 kms, 7000 meters climbing, 30 hours bike time.

Day 7 and 8 Beregtesgarden rest up days prior to push over the alps

Day 9 Beregtesgarden to Fischer – only 70 kms ,1000 meters climbing and 4 hours biking – didn’t feel so good today – reason

Alice arrived late Sunday afternoon ( out of the blue – best kept secret ) so champagne flowed !

Great to have her with us through to Venice.

Day 10 huge day climbing over the grossglocker pass from Fusen to Lienz .

Only 70 kms but mostly climbing with 2200 meters and 5 hours 40 bike time .

Beautiful views and cool above the snow line at 2500 meters

Day 11 to 13 Italian Dolomites and through to Venice.

Two big days biking out of the Alps and onto the northern Italian Dolomites with spectacular views – they are so different from the alps – so sharp and dramatic.

Lienz to Auronzo Di cadore – 133 kms ( after getting lost and adding 30 kms to the ride!) 1200 meters climb and 6 hours 30 bike time and next day into Congliano to board the train into Venice – spectacular downhills ( exceeding our age). Highlight the passo san Bondi with 18 switchbacks!

Day 13 Venice . Maree arrives at 1am – fabulous ! And Alice has to head back to Brooklyn same morning – so up early to downpour of rain and coffee and Alice to the airport bus .

Venice stayover was great – an example of how to deal with 40 m tourists a year at least dealing with the rubbish everyday . Crowded though!

End of week two after couple rest days in Venice

Total biking – 844 kms, 12700 meters climbing, 50 hours bike time .

Day 14 to 22 . The whole of week 3 in the fabulous Tuscany area .

Venice to pistolia by train and into Lucca – beautiful city

Day 15 a loop of 70 kms Lucca to Pisa . Really loved Pisa – yes was crowded at the leaning tower but I have to say it was more spectacular than I expected with great parks and quiet place.

A first- Ray Huges joined the trip in Venice – so I had two weeks biking up on him – and raced him over one of the climbs for the first time ever!

Day 16 non bike day to cinque terra villages . Much bigger and more difficult walk for Maree Monterosso to vernazza than we expected . Intended to walk the last part of the track Manorola to Rio maggiora but track was closed – so swam in the harbour there – hot hot day . Helene got a right royal bollocking from an awful hotel owner – how rude and what a temper!

Day 17 Lucca to Fabulous Florence and rest day there.

Beautiful ride through Tuscan vineyards and villages. Big climb to lunch and traffic into Florence a bit of a nightmare . Tramped all over Florence looking at the sights. The men there sure to outshine the women in dress – fashion everywhere and the guys flaunt it !

Day 19 and 20 Florencevto sienna and then sienna loop on Vespa .

Florence to sienna – hard day 97 kms,1800 meters climb, 5 hours 40 mins bike time . Hit during afternoon but started in rain. Lunch and vino at lovely vineyard near San Gimignano then to old world hotel ” villa Scacciapenieri ” – real class !

Next day rather than a bike climb and half loop we chose to hire a Vespa and do the whole 105 kms through – caste Di brolio,castellina on chanti,gaiolle in chanti. Lovely villages in the hills surrounded by chanti vineyards and wineries.

Pics of Siena follow

Day 21 and 22 Sienna to Pienza and pienza loop

Wonderful days riding through rolling hills under the warm Tuscan sun – villages like Montisi and montepulciano just breathtaking. Sure as hell a place to return to !

Day 21 82 kms,1350 meters, ride time 4 hours – and Maree 51 kms and 1000 meters – stuffed

Day 22 -50 kms 1100 meters ,3 hours ride time . Somev v steep climbs on the pienza loop that’s for sure.

Pics of sienna and surrounding villages follow

Day 23 and 24 Heading to Rome

Pienza to Roccalvecce – 110 kms,1400 meters climbing, 5 hours 30 mins bike time.

Beautiful cool morning from pienza mostly downhill through crops and small villages. Afternoon long , hard, hot > 30 degrees . Arrived in obscure Roccalvecce to find we staying at a converted castle – vvv old . Spectacular but not marees taste ! Wonderful pool though after hot ride – fawlty towers style staff !

Day 24 To Rome – all roads lead to Rome. 120 kms,1800 meters climbing, 6 hours 30 mins bike time – hard day. First 40 kms steep hills to lunch at 77kms. Vvhot into Rome -hard partly as we followed the pilgrim trail ” via franshescia” for a while with > 15% climbs Into Rome on a overgrown cycle trail through piles of rubbish – appalling that Rome can’t look after itself

Pics of run into Rome and rest day follow. Bye bye to the Huddies – will miss you and all the others leaving – Jonathan P ( so loud- so rude- so fun) , Matt, John H and darling Helene.

Hello Trevi fountain and Navona area of Rome where our hotel was – wonderful time here.

Day 26 and 27 Rome to Bari and then on to the overnight ferry from Brindisi ( bye bye Italy Loved you ) to Igoumenitsa ( Peloponnesus- Greece).

These days were basically transfer days . Rode the last part day 26 from Barletta to Bari though very heavy hairy peak hour traffic – hot as but good riding with a small group – me in front on garmin .

65 kms and 300 meters – 3 hour 30 mins bike time

Day 27 was big panic day – Slow trip out of Bari with bus over heating ( 30 minute transfer turned into 3 hours and then the pick up of Ralph’s group got lost- Ralph was 100% sure we had missed the ferry to Greece but it left an hour late!) -another hot and difficult day but all on board for beer n 6 hours across to Greece. 30 kms, one hour 30 mins bike time.

Day 28 and 29 Transfers and bike down the Pennopolesse peninsular from Igoumenitsa to Diakopotu to Loutraki.

Stayed at a small beach village – dining under the trees looking out to sea – simple and wonderful – into the Greek salads big time.

It’s got hotter -38 . Was great riding around the Corinth channel to loutraki on mainland Greece and Maree biking so well covered 58 kms .

Greece has a big problem with rubbish everywhere and huge case of graffiti – even by southern Italy standards which are bad – the litter everywhere must be an issue for the 32 million tourists expected in Greece this year – compared with 4 million in NZ.

Day 28 – 50 kms , 500 meters , 2 hours 30 mins

Day 29 – 90 kms , 500 meters, 4 hours 30 ride time.

Day 30 Loutraki to Athens

Got some flash backs while in Loutraki – here in 1992 after doing a Yatch trip around the Greek Ionian Islands further to the south -,not sure why we had to come to Loutraki I guess it must have been to catch the train to Athens .

Anyway the station is gone but I can see David on the steps of the railway – it’s very hot and glaring, and he is listening to James Taylor ( walking man ) on my Walkman – yep small tape mini player which was the latest . I think he needed to get away somewhere cos I also remember frustration . Very weird how some memories from way back can be that clear!

This time Loutraki to Athens by bike – two very big climbs 15-17% and cooler as we finished in a small village to take a ferry across to Piraeus. Maree had a great day and PB at 85kns and 400 meters – great to be finished here in Athens – but it’s grubby and tired -now third world in a modern economy . What a shame Greece has fallen so far .

Day 30 rest day Athens and heading v early to airport to get Maree on plane ( Bohoo) but the turkey 🇹🇷 week ahead is sure as hell not her cup of tea ! Wandered around Athens looking at the places I knew from years ago selling meat and visiting our agents Soto’s Nafpliotis( Greece) and Nibil Iddress ( Saudi )!

Athens has aged badly since then – had really interesting conversation with intelligent taxi driver about the Greek economy – he says high defence spend due continued threat from turkey, the Olympic Games cost and infrastructure spend ,and fending off for Europe the Syrian immigrants – all due to the fault and profit of Germany 🇩🇪

So at the end of week 4 as we rest in Athens We’ve biked about 1750 kms and climbed 22000 meters !

Day 31 and 32

Overnight ferry from Piraeus to Chios for short bike ride then another late in day ferry across to Cesme ( Turkey) .

Four berth cabin and asleep almost as soon as leaving Piraeus – to arrive in rain and dark in Chios . This a lovely Greek island – great cafe for breakfast and the best coffee in weeks – carpaccio !

Quiet ride and swim – just the 3 amigos – got lost and ended in the heat at a small traditional village cafe for beer very friendly Aphrodite’s waitress entertaining the village old men .

Day 33 cesme to ismir

Really enjoyed Cesme . It’s like Bodrum and not Islamic !

Climbed out of cesme only to get lost – Ali the Turkish guide seems to make it a habit ! So ended up on a blind shingle track then dirt road and had to cross country to the garmin route . Was a great ride into Ismir – a big surprise as I recall it being a huge industrial city and pretty nasty . But now after lunch at a seaside cafe we came in on a terrific cycle track to a clean , bike friendly, modern city – no doubt the crap side of it is still there in a city of 5m .

Day 33 – 95 kms, 800 meters climbing,4 hours 30 mins bike time .

Day 34 Ismir to Bergama

Hot ride over bad roads and exceedingly Poor and crappy villages as we bike inland away from the Aegean Sea coast – it’sa lot like Morocco – Muslim as hell and the people look miserable.

Arrived late after a one and half hour transfer turned into three and half hour transfer!

Simple but lovely family run pension – beer and great food and lady owner with great English /German. Off to the Pergamon acropolis by amazing cable car in early evening after the heat of the day . Strange how 2 star is sometimes the best experiences !

53 kms , 1000 meters climbing , 3 hours bike time.

Day 30 Bergama to Yesilyak

The start of three 100 km plus days , with big climbs ,so tough and in plus 30 degrees.

Day 35 started cool with a great ride up through pine forests and granite quarries on reasonable roads . Then v hot in traffic to a 20% climb ending in cobbled village and hotel muse with roof top bar – rehydration with beer is now mandatory !

60 kms, 1500 meters climbing , 5 hours 30 due three steep climbs.

Day 36 Yesilyak to Çanakkale

This the biggest day of the journey 125 kms ,1900 meters climbing, 7 hours 30 mins bike time. Also very hot .

A difficult day and everyone ( other than the strommer guys ) feeling stuffed . Three very big climbs on some unsealed roads through crappy villages in > 35 . Evan , ray n craig started an hour early to beat the heat but it got us later .

Arrived in Çanakkale down a long 6 lane highway after bypassing Troy – 5000 year old piles of rock !

Welcome big hotel with pool for two nights .

The group has changed markedly from the first two stages of the journey – there are three groups now – 1.the stroomers ( who ride fast cos they can and as Evan says” don’t go with them even on the Boshe ebikes, as they go to fast , leave you behind, and don’t care !

2. The few road bikes now down to three regulars ( Ray, Craig ,Min and a couple of others Richard,Pat, Ross who take Boshes in preference), and

3. The boshe ebikers.

Not sure what this means for the future but the roadies are damned – too slow up hill , can beat the Boshe ebikes downhill and in the flat so long as there is not a head wind , but can’t match the Strommer elite !

Thank god for Garmin – the 1030 programmed maps and saved routes are amazing!

Day 37 Gallipolli

This the last day of riding and last of the 100 + km days so we hanging on – just.

100 kms, 900 meters, 5 hours ride time.

From Çanakkale to ferry to cross the Dardanelles to the galipolli peninsular .

What possessed Winston Churchill and the French to try to take this area off the Ottermans to have a winter shipping route to open an eastern front with Russia against German / Austria/ Italy ! And kill off 30000 by a crazy land invasion attempt .

Ride via lone pine ( aussie battlefield ) to Anzac cove ( aussie n NZ) then to Helle beach in the south being the British landing point ) around the galipolli peninsular . Also a fantastic new media museum and back to the ferry along the Dardanelles matching a huge ship coming up the channel .

At Anzac cove got to recite the ode to the guys “They will grow not old , like we will grow old !

Time will not weary them nor the years condemn!

With the setting of the sun , we will remember them “

Was a great day – felt quite emotional looking at the tiny cove and steep cliffs/ hills they tried to claim and 3000 got killed on . The whole area is reserves and maintained well with memorials which are generous to all .

This was the day for me as follows –

1.Hot and sunny – sunflowers and garmin at 37

2.Beat my age downhill- 70.4 kms per hour

3 .3 amigos in the bar celebrating to end of the biking journey

Pool on return

and the very last day in Istanbul at the Grand bazaar and streets of this incredible 15 m people city!

Also pics from a wonderful roof top bar overlooking Istanbul and the Bosphorus and Golden horn seperating Europe from Asia just as it did in the days when it was called Constantinople.

So – that’s the journey ended

Prague to Istanbul

2500 kms

30000 meters climbing

125 hours bike time ( about 5 hours on average for each of the 28 days biked)

Other than Ralph, Leon, Riccardo the guides

only 8 of us completed the 2500 kms riding 29 days –

Min and Craig on road bikes completed all the journey

Todd, Marion,Pat, Graeme , Betty and Chris ( from Belgium) on ebikes also completed all the journey.

There were many highs not many lows and lots of wondering how the body can take so much punishment and get up for more each day 😎

The highlights for me

– biking with Alice

– biking with darling Maree

– biking with the 3 Amigos

plus just being able to bike the whole journey without falling off , no crashes , and ending a bit depleted ( lost 4kgs) but otherwise 100%. Great trip !

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️